As Tis the season to be jolly, I was sitting down with a hot cup of espresso watching the lights play off of each other on my Christmas tree-when I got to thinking about “balls” …and men. Then….men with balls. Men with really big balls! Figure me to associate the birth of Christ with men’s nether regions. What is too much balls? And if having to deal with so much balls is it exhaustive work? I now that you know about tea bagging and such (for those who don’t it is the process of taking the balls and putting it all in your mouth). Not that I have done is personally, ahem. Anyways. I am not too sure if I could get my whole mouth around the subject. I know most of us black girls have really large lips. And having large lips does not necessarily mean that you have a wide mouth. Mind you only when we start cussing. It just means that you can provide a very soft cushion during oral sex.
And I would have considered tea bagging in my cards until I came across a picture of Cisco Adler’s penis. Have you ever seen that picture of Cisco Adler and his famously long balls. No lie, dem balls almost were as long as his penis. Nasty! You won’t see the picture here cause I can’t bring myself to look at that thing! If you want to look it up just type in LONG BALLS and CISCO or if fact just Cisco, I think there are several pictures of IT out there. I guess his balls are photogenic.
I got to think about balls and the various lengths. I remember when I first caught one of my friends pinning away at his balls. I thought I saw wrong and did a double take. But, no, he was definitely at it on the bus and come to think of it, I also caught him adjusting them at the mall as well. Now, when I asked my brother about it he said maybe it has to do with the placement of the balls in his underwear. And I thought maybe that was bullshit, considering that I know that men like to touch their balls just like dogs like to like them-cause they are there. And when I mustered enough courage to ask my friend about his balls-if they were so HUGE that he had to keep touching them all the time, the man goes to me that he never even noticed that he had a habit of touching them. RIIIGHT!
Epilogue- A few hours later- so I got to see his balls (all that talking of course worked up a small appetite) and although sure enough a decent size, it still wasn’t monumental. Surely not Cisco’s Balls; not even close. Surely not long enough to pine at. So my conclusion to this story is Men are like Dogs. They come, they conquered, and went. OR they see, they lick, they went….and see and lick again…and….
Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
