I was casually browsing the net, which is how I do, when I came across the photos of the past weekend nuptials of Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson. While, I was looking at the pics I noticed the look on Holly’s face. It is basically the same look that she has on her face in several of the photos. I tried to go into her mind, as only one fellow woman could do to another and I felt her longing.

It must have been hard to stand on the lawn of the place where she called home not too long ago; only to have to go through the motions….as a bridesmaid.

If I knew her I would remind her that all loves that comes into your life are blessings, whether or not they were happy ones or bitter ones. As Miss Holly stood there I hope that she  reminded herself of all the things she has learned and received. There really is no loss.

I remember watching her show us her daily life as the “lady of the household” and then go on to become a photo editor at Playboy. You can tell that all the girlfriends wanted more to life than what the house and Hef could give them. Apart from the butler et al, I heard that all their going-ons were constantly being reported to Hef. And I don’t care how many previous girlfriends were taking advantage of him before. No man should ever impose a curfew on a relationship. And no grown woman worth her grain of salt should accept it!

Remember possums, no one but yourself could clip your wings.

But I digress.

If it was supposed to be Holly instead of Kendra on the lawn of the Mansion then it would have happened earlier and easier. I remember how many times she hinted or plained-out talked about marrying Hef (to his face and behind his back). I don’t think there was anything desperate about it. I think she was just being honest about how she felt. She was being honest about her needs.

I think that is the trouble of many a relationship. More women and men should be honest with each other from the get go. Most importantly, I think that (and I know I keep drilling about this) if someone answers you, verbally and their actions show you that they are not ready and may never be ready to get married, then you should just accept it. The struggle of the relationship would only arise when you fight against what the other person in your relationship does not want, but you want it. Don’t forget that Hef is still married to his baby mother. Which could only mean one thing-that it is cheaper to stay married, than have a really expensive divorce (where in California the law is 50/50)!

I know women who have stayed in relationships waiting for the man to change his mind. They think to themselves, that okay maybe marriage is not in the cards right now (job, money, etc), but in a few years…So they wait. And wait.

I feel that if marriage is not in the cards, instead of putting pressures on the relationship and yourself, why not focus on other things? Can’t you focus on work, or self-help or family? I don’t think it is so much a strategy to scare him into marriage (who wants that!!!), but I think that when many a new things come into your world, your life will seem so full and many OTHER new needs will present themselves. You gain MORE confidence, explore new experiences and perhaps gain new “friends”.

I think many of us feel that everything in life has to be a struggle. If something is meant to be, it will come easily and with no pressure. I am not saying that there won’t be any obstacles. Many things in our lives have obstacles. Obstacles are the dugouts in the path of life where we can rest and re-evaluate.

The moral of the story is always have a back-up excuse if you find that you might end up in a ceremony where you have to face your ex and his new trollops for a full 20 minutes… in painful high heels.And if you do, try to at least look nicer and more tittified’ as Miss Holly did.

Who wears matching summer dresses to a wedding, I don’t care if you are a twin!!!.

Luv, L.

Photos Courtesy: Flynetonline