My dearest possums,

I was clicking through the channels last night when I came across the erotic show called “Latin Lovers”. The info guide said soft porn. And where there is soft porn, I am game. I tried to watch it for the language and the ambiance, but find out there was very little Spanish going on and a whole lot of stripping of clothes. I don’t know what it is about this movies, but someone always has an itch that needs to be scratched or a neck that needs to be rubbed. And that the only way to get to these areas the clothes must come off.

But, I digress.

Then came the part when a girl was working out on an exercise machine and I was like-”so?” And then this dude came up out of the blue and then came off her glasses and then her clothes and then his. And then she went back on the stepping machine and backed up on him (if you know what I mean). And I asked myself-”Why so much work?”

It is inventive though. But, I couldn’t do it. I don’t even like to exercise, much less have to DO exercise AND have sex at at the same time. And wouldn’t you know it, the woman had to do all the work! While she was going up and down on the stepper, the man was just crouching his tiger in her hidden dragon. Easy!

Which reminds me of the time on a barber’s chair. Ah, the barber’s chair…. I think that I am going to go out and purchase me a barber’s chair. And that is not because we were trying to be inventive, it had everything to do with location and what was there. But, I will leave the details for my memoirs. But, let’s just say that I knew that those chairs could go back, but not thaaat waaay back. And that barber’s are good with their hands!

And the moral of the story, my dear possums, is always exercise with caution cause you never know who might sneak up from behind. Own it!

Luv, L.

P.S. There was one section of the program where there was a girl bobbing up and down in the swimming pool with no clothes on. And it was so hilarious, cause she looked as if she was trying to chase and keep up with her fake luminous breasts.

Her titays looked as if they were trying to float away….without her.

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