Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
I am kind of scared today cause I have to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. I have tried so hard not to cheat on this diet. So, when I read today that I need to find my center, I went along earnestly looking for it. I will do anything for you possums in the name of research!
So you know how all those spiritual gurus always say to find peace, you must find your center. Well, I never really found mine, so I decided to look for it.
I laid on the bed and discovered a nice refreshing way to help the process along. A woman needs a vibrator, like a dog needs a chew toy. I don’t care what Deepak Chopra or Louise Hay says- I think the center is actually my front.
I found my center in about 10 mins. And I found it over and over and over again. At least three times! No visualizations necessary! Who says that cocktails and a vibrator at noon can’t cure any ailments? I think if all our world leaders masturbated it would put a stop to a lot of madness in the world.
By tomorrow, if I haven’t lost any weight and the doctor gets mad at me, then my center can be my ass and the hole I would like him to kiss!
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