So I went to the doctor and I lost…. seven pounds.

Seven friggin pounds!

Hallejah!

In a week!

(Insert Baptist choir and everyone from a bible study course)

Unless Ali baba himself came down and told me that seven pounds was nothing, I would be like whatever! I don’t care. I know you all are thinking to yourself-water weight.

Water weight my ass!

Seven Pounds is the equivalent of :

Carrying around 7 bags of sugar

Carrying around at least 3 melons

Carrying around two trays of Starbucks lattes on top of each other and two bags of their muffins on your wrists

Carrying around at least one of my breasts

Carrying a few bags of potatoes

Carrying around two bags from Aldo, three bags from  Costa Blanca, a bag from Lush and a small bag from MAC.

Water weight my ass crack!

I can’t pee nor burn all that off!

I feel rejuvenated and new. I feel like Julie Andrews without those rotten kids and that miserable Capitano. Quick go look outside and you will see me singing from  your mountain top! I feel quite like a virgin again. Who knew that I would ever say that sentence (twice in a year, without no surgery).

I work out everyday, which I hate so much! Like Nike and a good prostitute, I just do it.

The only thing I worry about is when I have to maintain it. I think I will always have to be a serial exerciser. There is no way around it. It keeps the weight off, you can have a piece of biscuit at Red Lobster and I will be able to keep up the stamina onstage.

I think for many people, weight-loss has to do with self-worth. I always knew my worth. I had it tried and tested all my life. And when it gets tested every day, you end up becoming a stronger person. I know it sounds cliche, but it is so true.

I think this life-style change is more a step coming closer to the core of my self.  And honey, you should see my core, it is delicious!

All Contents Copyright 2008-2011. lucresialinton.com All Rights Reserved.