Aug
20

Knocked on Marilyn’s Grave, Is She Still Home

anotherSo I am here in L.A. and you know that I have to go visit Marilyn Monroe’s grave. I have never been.  I acted all touristy by taking a lot of pictures. I did my left side and then changed it to my half a smile 3012998525_dd64585e45on my right side a la Paris Hilton. I had to check and remind myself that I WAS at a grave site. So I did my somber look and then I did my far off and away look.  I then took pictures of the bench that her fan club had set up. I also gave a looksie on the left where Hugh Hefner will be placed, when his time has come.

magnumphotos02I reached out to touch Marilyn’s name on the stone when it occurred to me that the stone felt different, like plastic. I then kind of, don’t get mad, I knocked on the stone. The mother was hollow!

WTF? marilyn

I knocked again. I heard a slight echo. And the grave was not even sealed. You can actually look into the crease of it and see darkness.

Then I started to knock on the other grave on top of it. And it sounded normal, not hollow. Then I knocked on a few more, sounded full to me. And then I went back to Miss M and hollow again.

“Excuse me!”

“Hello, Marilyn?” I said.1071705117_resmarilyn

“What are you doing?”

fdsdI jumped and then one of the pennies that were on her name fell off! An older woman was standing behind me looking quite amused.

“Nothing, just making sure everything is all good.”

I knocked again.

“Yep, she is in there. Alrighty, then, let’s go see what Dean Martin is doing.”

cooltext4295424771

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Aug
20

Hair To Covet-Ali MacGraw

BeFffdShe worked as a fashion assistant to the great Diana Vreeland.capturedata1315377-719859

After modeling for many years, Miss MacGraw seal her stardom in 1970 with the movie “Love Story”. She played Jenny Cavilleri, the charmingly foul-mouthed and dying heroine.

Ali_MacGraw_12

aj3hQpvYZpzfgh3sFFmeBCNVo1_4001Her trademark look was low-key. Her clothes were of a bohemian Ali_MacGraw_HF_L_2_44229_4425style, with a slight edgy feel. Her minimalist style of glowing skin ossie-alimacgraw19691without much makeup did not go unnoticed, and along with it came small_315856her superbly dark glossy hair.

Her hair was long and gleaming and was usually parted in the middle or simply pulled back.

She even created a style with her ever-present brimless woolen hat that Ali-MacGraw-223ebecame known as the “Ali Cap.” What we learn from Miss MacGraw is that minimalist style doesn’t have to be “undone.”  161418The whole point of it is to make sure that the soul shines through in every which way. Without much make-up on, we can appreciate her God-given features such as her piercing eyes and dark eyebrows. Love story indeed!amgls1

lovelucresia

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Aug
19

An Aside-Bum Cakes

puipuIf  I don’t want to get a penis up my ass…can I offer him this instead?

2x_cookie_with_ass_purple

Or this one?

bumCakeI mean he can have his cake and eat it too. And I on the other hand, can tell him where to kiss it.

Non?

cooltext429542441

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Aug
19

On My To Do List Sex Fantasy Role Play-Titanic

ghhROSE: “Jack can you draw me like one of your French girls?”
JACK: “Yes…”
ROSE: “Wearing this…wearing only this…”

Did you know that when the production of Titanic began, the scene where Jack draws Rose’s nude picture was the first scene that Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet filmed Kate_Winslet_Titanic_nude_drawing_scenetogether. The director used the actors’ nervous energy to play the right emotions in the scene.

It is this energy that we will use to perform this fantasy.

My heart is racing already.


What You Need:
1.  Charcoal pencilstitanic_necklace_premium_02
2.  Pad of Paper (you truly only need one sheet cause this is so erotic he may scratch it and jump on you)
3.  The Heart of the Ocean blue diamond in the necklace
4.  The 20 million dollars to buy the necklace. I would personally loan it to you, but it is 1 million less that I have saved.
5.  Robe (for her)

What To Do:

Tend to the Trimmings-Please trim the bush. He should not be able to turn the picture upside down and wonder if that is your head or not.

Body Make-up-Optional? Or just too much? It is all about sensuality. But, if it was my man…he better airbrush the kate-winslet_titanic_movie_pencil-drawingcrap out of my photo. I want refined eyebrows, enhanced cheekbones, high titays and defined thighs. You know I do.

The Twins-Don’t forget to place your arms strategically underneath the breasts. Ice the nipples if you have to and make them stand up. Better yet, ice them in front of him; that will drive him crazy! I know that they didn’t have ice boxes inside the cabin of the boat back then, but who cares. It is your fantasy anyways.

Keep the mood relaxed- Being naked in front of another person can be quite daunting. And make sure to fawn 233055_1244928039793_500_293over his painting or else he may never want to draw you ever again and go on stupid like a five year old and then have a huge argument and then keep calling you back over and over again even after you told him not to call you back cause you need a man with an open mind and one that is less childish. And that you were not going to lie and say that he was Picasso cause jigga ain’t. And maybe his mother complimented enough and he had maternal issues.

Not that this happened. It is just a for instance.

The Pose- Find an amazing pose or else you will probably find that your arms might get very tired. I find that if you keep you treasure closed (legs kept together) and the titays upright; all will be good. It is all about the tease and holding back. And it is a sneaky way of getting him to do foreplay.

Tee Hee.

Drawing is said to be a very intimate means of expression. When a lover draws you, it is a way of freeing a part of yourself. You are at your most vulnerable…and they are too. This experience can make you feel more confident in your relationship. And confidence is so sexy. If you had any doubts if your body turns him on, well think no further. It does!

His eyes are on you, but he is not judging. Rather he is absorbing all details necessary to complete the picture…if you get that far. This also brings a welcomed sense of security to you.

howdy-doodyDon’t worry about it showing up on the internet.  If you break up you can always quickly erase your face or turn it into a homage to Howdy Dowdy!cooltext4301594571

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Aug
17

Five Ways to Live Gregariously

redbr1. When was the last time you drew something? Don’t say that you can’t because you did it a lot when you were young and you didn’t know any better. Did you know that till this day, Brad Pittpitt-sculpture-12506352-mfbqtemplat will lock himself away from Angelina and the kids and draw pictures of buildings and whatnots. It is that easy. All you  have to do is watch the forms and shapes of your subject. It doesn’t have to be a portrait of yourself, it can be something as simple as a landscape. Just spending time in an artist supply store for an afternoon does for me. It is worth it!

2. Why not draw up a bath for you and your lover. We all know that it may lead it into other things. That is the point! But,why not start a ritual where you guys can soak and talk about the day together. You may find COUPLE20IN20BATHTUBthat after a few times you both will look forward to it. And remember no stinky bubbles in the tub. Leave that to the kids!

3. Why not start a pillow collection for your bedroom and living room? You may crave to paint the walls of your living space.  It may be expensive or you might not be allowed to do so. The best way to change your living space is to change your pillows. eb969fd0ce7bWhen I am in a disco mood,  I put my sequins pillows on my couch and chuck the zebra and tigers and vice a versa.  Zebra and Tigers may not be able to live in peace together in the wild kingdom, but in my living space, they reign together just fine.

4. When was the last time you had a look at your serving ware. I was in Wal-Mart the other day and came across a gorgeous chrome tea set and a beautifully wooded 3505402981_22a180f4b6serving tray. The colour and knots of the wood were simple and lovely.  I always felt that when you serve people tea or coffee you should do so with panache. It is the little things that create an ambiance.

5. Why not try a new tea you have never tried before? I was dead set ojamaican_peppermint_tea_angel_brand_1oz_bign trying Peppermint tea again. I had tried the one in the supermarket and I swear to you a drank a cup of toothpaste! Then a friend raved about a tea she tried from the local Jamaican food store. I had to go and buy it. Little did I know it was the one that my mother used to give me as a child growing up.  It is the one that the prophets spoke of!cooltext4301591572

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Aug
13

How to Make Love on A Barcalounger Part Two

dfsaerPossums, have you seen my thighs?

They maybe be thick and strong, but not necessarily flexible. I can’t even get one of them over my head. And even when I do position no. 21 of a well-thumbed sex position book; my breasts sometimes gets in the way of even seeing my partner, let alone the ceiling.  But, I alwaysLazyboy-1-kay1 wanted to know how to make love on a lazy-boy. So in the name of research, I tagged along with my friend to find out if can be done. If you are lost, you can read about our fiasco here in choosing one.

http://lucresialinton.com/2009/08/02/how-to-make-love-on-a-barcalounger-part-one/

Although, he tried to connive me into trying it with him (it wouldn’t work out anyways, I don’t like to shit where I eat)!

Here are some tips I discovered from me to you:

Cushions anyone?- Nothing beats the feeling of making love on such soft and glorious cushions. I now know how a caterpillar feels while it is in the cocoon. Trust me, there is nothing like it!

2rwkiysThey don’t put a lever there for Just for Convenience- The up and down control seems easy enough to use. It just makes the thing go up and down. A quick note though, make sure that you know what you are doing, cause it can close up in a  u-shape and all of the sudden you are the insides of a taco! Not that it has happen to me before. It is just a for instance.

digimarc.ms1The Remote Control Rest-Try not to get your foot stuck in there, possums. Although, it does come in handy when you need extra leverage during the riding position. Then it becomes like a nice saddle for you. Giddy up!

The Greatest Love of All-Do it from behind, for sure. It is easy on his knees and your neck and back. And he will have to do all the work, while you lay your head on a pillow and enjoy.

Use A Towel-Do you ever notice that it is either Grandpa or the free-loadingla-z-boy_oldham_arc_recliner_thumb_mar_04 friend that always puts their ass in your favorite chair? You may have to invest heavily into a shampoo vacuum or you can rent one from your local supermarket.  You know what scratch that!  Not using a towel maybe a good thing.  It will keep their ass out of your love machine…I mean chair.

Vibrating control-Do I really need to say more. Yes please!

NOTE: Lastly, try not to rock this baby too hard. It may look big and secure, but if there is no wall behind you; then it slowly inches its way across the room and then…

WHAMMO!

You are on the floor. And you are this way and his penis went that a way. And then you both start arguing that you should have used the helmet as extra protection like she said in the first place, cause she didn’t go to university for nothing and he dropped out of college although his parents paid for it! Not that this has happened to me.

It is just a for instance.cooltext4301592051

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Aug
11

Drink Rosewater To Make Your Vagina Smell Better

farrI love, love, love the movie Le Divorce. According to Wikipedia-The film tells the le-divorcestory of a young American woman Isabel Walker (Kate Hudson) who travels to Paris to visit her pregnant sister Roxy (Naomi Watts). Roxy’s husband leaves her for his lover. Later on, Isabel secretly falls in love with her French uncle-in-law Edgar Cosset and becomes his mistress. Lies, family disputes and murder follow.

Blah, blah,blah… it is definitely a romantic roller coaster I enjoyed for 2 ½ hours.

One of the parts that I adored was the first time uncle Edgar and Isabel make love. Kate looks sexy in a purple bra and black panties and garters as she stands in front of a guy and models her outfit for him.

kate_hudson_le_divorce

Afterward, Edgar says something to Isabel that definitely made my ears perk up. He tells her about a tea called tisane brewed with a mixture of orange, rosewater and mint. This mix is suppose to flavor the woman’s juices. 2611772457_290197a4a6

Stop the presses and summon all concubines!

I have to try it out for myself!

Tisane is a beverage prepared and drunk in the manner of tea, which does not contledivorceain any leaves from the tea plant, Camellia sinensis. Rosewater is made from the distillation of rose petals, It has long been used to flavor delicate foods, especially sweet meats intended to be given to your lover. Did you know that the rose scent is so intoxicating that back in the day women use to bathe in it draw in lovers? Rosewater is available at some supermarkets and specialty foods stores. I found some at the West Indian store.2003ledivorce01

I will follow up with you later when I can get a man to smell me down there. I think 20 minutes should do it. I guess during foreplay I can say, “hey do you mind just going down there to cop a smell, please and thank you.”

Non?

I want to make sure it smells properly over and over again. And if I am lucky, over and over again.

You know how I do. cooltext4301592951

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