I am on the last leg of my L.A. vacay, and honestly, I think that I am going to miss everything. But, I feel that it is definitely time to go on home. Their highways are so friggin’ busy!   I miss Toronto’s highways, even the DVP at its busiest. I also miss the fact that the ghettos we have don’t look like ghettos because the government makes sure that they look spectacular for those who visit our beautiful city.

L.A. reminds me of an “American” Jamaica; with all the houses with the iron decorated bars on the windows and the palm trees. The only thing though, there is a hell of a lot of balmy weather! Every time I look up to the sky it is almost a weird shade of greenish-gray. Weird, non? And I don’t see any birds in the sky either. They all fly really low. Almost drove into one trying to drive AND take pictures of the Hollywood sign.

But, before I go home I had to visit the famed Grauman’s Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard.  The amount of people in the souvenir shop was crazy! Every single item you can imagine had a name of Hollywood plastered on it! I ended up with an ashtray to support my new diet and of course a fridge magnet. Then I went further down the road and picked up 3 for $10.00 t-shirts. Although, I don’t like wearing t-shirts cause with my big boobs, they push the shirt waay out and make me look bigger, I thought it made a nice gift for my parents and then the third one I could wear around the house. I know most people wear t-shirts when working out, but as you know possums, I work out in the nude.

I finally made my way to the star on the street when I came across a huge crowd. It was Michael Jackson’s star.

How could you miss it! Not only was it the only star that people crowded around, but a guy held a portable player playing Michael Jackson’s tunes. People were actually putting their faces on it and kissing it while others took pictures.

My word!

I just kindly told people to back it on up so that I could take a few pictures without their feet all up in it. I then headed over to the wax museum. And took pics with the Marilyn Monroe statue and then took a picture of Marilyn Monroe’s hand-print. At first I couldn’t find it because there were so many people walking around. It ended up being practically right in front of theatre!

I took a picture with Snoop Dogg and Samuel L. Jackson! Okay, not really them, but they looked so life-like! They even had Snoop’s corn rows done properly!

A funny thing did happen with Samuel though. It was my turn to take a pic with Samuel, when the person kept on telling me to get closer and closer and closer.  I almost made the jigga fall over!! I was so bent and embarrassed! And you would think that would be the end of my dramas for the day, but not if you are Lucresia Linton.

I tried to get into see Michael Jackson.

This time however, I kept my hands to myself! No disturbing the recently interred for me!

But let me tell you, that it is the hottest club around cause there is a bouncer and everything.

Honey, there must have been an invisible rope cause you can’t get in!!  Don’t even try to say that you are there to see any famous paintings or stain glass windows cause you are not in luck. I thought that it would be easy, until a security asked me who was I there to see.

“My uncle,” I said.

“What’s his name,” said the burly man.

“ Uncle Sam…Sammy. Uncle Sammy,” I replied looking him dead (pardon moi) in the face.

“Sammy…and his last name?” asked the burly man.

“Sammy…umm…Davis. Sammy Davis.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you are related to Sammy Davis?” asked the burly man.

“Why yes, and don’t forget about the junior,” I answered back. “He worked hard for the junior!”

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