They say that April showers brings May Showers, but possums, Autumn rains just brings on more stains!

Not to be confused with the April Showers which represents spring rains in some parts of the northern hemisphere during the month of April.

But, I digress.

I am talking about when a man purposely stands up and sprays his yellow load all over the body. This brings a whole new meaning of standing up to urinate, no?

Why do men get away with introducing April Showers in the bedroom? They say that it brings a kind of sweet release at the end of it all. But, I think that it is because they have girlfriends as Stupidas that just can’t say no.

I personally do not find it tantalizing at all.

Why?

According to Wikipedia.org:

Urine is a liquid waste product of the body secreted by the kidneys by a process of filtration from blood called urination and excreted through the urethra.

Why would you want something sprayed all over you that is actually used to test diseases? They don’t collect all that for nothing.

But I digress. Again.

Why not try body oil?  Body oil is always good! It may stain the sheets, but the wouldn’t you want to see your beloved rub up themselves with oil than have human waste drip all over them. And let me mention the smell. What are you going to do, “Febreeze” it out?

The first time that I ever encountered urine in my boudoir was when a lover was making a seriously funny joke while we were at it and then I let it rip. Albeit, only a little, but it was enough to get his attention. Which I know I did because he gave me one of those “raise-one-eyebrow” look. I just kept going and acted as if I was so…wet. Looking back on it now I realize that I got away with so much, but to actually think of doing it on purpose then, possums, I don’t think so.

Now, the many times I have felt well-placed urine on my hands and cheek (while changing diapers), it felt warm, smelly and don’t forget sticky too. I don’t see why anyone would want to ruin their comforters to foray into this territory.

And don’t even try to place a towel on the bed, because he cannot control where it lands and  it ruins good high thread count sheets that was bought at a department store and not at Wal-Mart and when you tried to bring it to the drive -thru cleaners, you would think that it would deter them from talking about the strange stains they found on your sheets cause they are a drive-thru and they have good paying people waiting in their cars behind you, but no it doesn’t deter them, which is so surprising cause you know that they must have seen more weirder things than a big ole yellow stain.

Not that this has happened to me.

It is just a for instance.

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