I was in the doctor’s office having a routine ultrasound. I was just checking to see that all of my womanly bits were in proper order, when I got to thinking if a large penis could lodge a uterus?

IMAGINE!

Anyhoo, the technician, put the jelly thing all over my belly and went about her business. So I sat there pondering about my dinner and what I should make and if I still had time to go to the Dollar Store to pick up a few things. When all of the sudden she told me to go pee (you have to drink 5 glasses of water prior so that it can push the uterus in view cause it usually lays behind the bladder) so I obliged. When I came back into the room, she told me to go back on the table and that she was going to insert something in my vagina.

Lucresia was gonna get some action!!!

And after so much action, during vacation in L.A.?

Thank- you GOD!

So she put some of that jelly on this large everlasting dildo- of -a- thing!

It was HUGE!!

Now, I know that she must be doing this for a long time cause she inserted that thing so fast like she was Quickdraw from the Old West! She didn’t even poke all around! It just slip in so easily!

Not for nothing, I would like to think of myself of being very tight! Yes, you see right, I put this sentence in bold. ( Applause please!…You better!!).

I also have to note that she didn’t even look! She just put it in!  No feeling around whatsoever. She should teach a class or two about penis insertion. I have been with men who poked and poked in the light and in the dark and still somehow ended up near my anus.  Ramming the rim so hard! So as you can see I was mighty surprise!

In truth,  I was remembering one of my ex’s and the time when he went to the doctor to check his extremely, extremely small penis.

I shall not lie!

I think I will refer to him in this story as “the basterd” (that’s how I am spelling it now, cause of the movie).  This is because of the time I told him to put it in and it was already!

Anyhoo,  as the doctor tenderly massaged his extremely short stick, it stood up!  I remember him saying that not only did he try to think of several different things it didn’t even wane, not EVEN ONCE! The basterd, even thought that maybe he was gay and he tried to disprove this thought by sexing every girl he knew, hence why we broke up.

As as I recalled this story to myself,  I started to laugh  and I forgot that the technician had this big thing in me and everything started to shake-her hand, the big thing and the screen. I was so mortified to say the least! She was ever the professional and didn’t even bat an eyelash.

I actually thought back to how I laughed at my ex; lets call the basterd-little puta man. And now, that it was happening to me (minus the pleasure part), I almost felt a little compassion for the little puta man.

As if!!

So, what is a girl in such a compromising position to do? I thought of my grocery list and about you my possums, and what the moral of this story could be.

The moral of the story is- Possums, it is better to laugh than cry when something small enters you. Because somewhere, somehow, karma does have a sense of humour and will play out in the end as a big dildo in your near future!

And in the memory of my dear mother, I would like to remember what she always said to me in times of sorrow, “Lucresia, always remember its the crazy people who carry the best pills!”

p.s. Yes, she still is alive.

p.s.s. I am just practicing.

p.s.s.s. I am very aware I am no. 5 in her will.

p.s.s.s.s I am the first born. And she only has three children.You do the math.

It has been a long slopey ride!

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