Lucresia Linton.com

If you are ever at a very boring party, and you want a way out. I have the perfect idea for you. Read on player, read on!

Have you ever flashed your lover?

I mean really flashed your lover?

I am talking about when the pressure is on and other people are around and no one notices, but you and him. But, let me tell you about the time that I did this.
I have a friend that had met up with an old ex of mine. Naturally, he asked my friend how I was. And she told him I was amazing.

I am you know.

But, I digress.

He replied that he knew I was amazing, but very high maintenance.

She told me that I may be high maintenance, but I was worth it!

Anyhoo, I remember this fool.  Let’s just say that he had a lot of connections. Political connections. He was way up there. No, he did not run a country, nor  could he clear off very questionable charges on my phone bill (Questionable for the phone company, not questionable for me. I mis-dialed Dubai one day, before I knew about this little jewel of a country, and had a nice delicious conversation with a nice man named Amil. Anyhoo, I was able to point out to the phone company that someone must be placing these calls cause looking at my past bills, does it look like I would know someone from Dubai? And if I did, would I still be living here? Case in point, they took off the charges).

But, I digress, yet again.

So the above fool dragged me to one of his boring politically-charged party. Now, possum, you know I love me some conversations. In certain social circles, they refer to me as a conversationalist. But, this time I was done for! I felt I was saving the people I was speaking to and no one wanted to catch the lifejacket. I was done for and I was bored!

Then I had a delicious thought. It started with a cool stiff breeze. No, not him..yet, but with me. I had moved close to his host’s patio door when I felt a cool breeze a blowing right up my black skirt. Oooh, how delicious! I thought that maybe GOD had heard my pleas of desperation and answered my prayers to get rid of such humdrum in my life. Then the breeze did it again! Now, I know that many of you have experienced a lot of breeze in your life. Both in and out. Clean and not so clean. But, the breeze from GOD gave me a thought. If such a secret thing could give me pleasure, why not share it? Why not go all the way?
They say that if you want to get to a heart of a man it is through his stomach. True, but if you want to get through to a woman, it is through her mind. So, I decided to use this ESP-thing I have been reading about lately.

I placed an image of him in my mind, while I looked at him, which was easy enough and said five little words. Look at me you bastard.  Look at me you bastard. And you know what? He actually turned around!

Well done. Me!

I guess the ESP book worked after all….unless you count the fact that a lady saw me looking at him intently for awhile, touched his shoulder and pointed him my way.

“It was now or never,” I thought to myself.

No one was looking, except him and I slowly pulled up my skirt and showed him what he assumed for a long time-that I despise wearing underwear! I paused and I did it again. The trick, my possum, is to always hold a steady gaze. It is best if you keep your face serious. If you can raise one eyebrow, instead of two, then go for it. This will give you more of a coy look.

He faked a cough and then a stomach ache when his host turned up with a pack of Halls. And grabbed me by the elbow and we both hot-tailed it out of there.

My, my, my the fun that we had later that night. I wished that I could have said that about our relationship. But, as he said I am high-maintenance. And while I believe I was worth it. Possum, he was not!

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