I have found the solution to world peace.

To think that many wars and disagreements could have been handled if the top people had their bottoms massaged. I mean if President Obama is reading this, he wouldn’t ask his aides or anything, we wouldn’t want him to turn into another JFK or, God forbid, Clinton. But, maybe his wife could do it for him. It is never too late to spice up ones’ marriage in my book. And besides you can’t spend your whole day accessorizing the way that woman does.

Possums, I love getting my bottom massaged! It is my new raison d’etre.

I love how having my bottom rubbed brings serious discussion with people. I love it when people ask me- “what did you do today?” And I am like, “Oh, I got my bottom massaged”. And then they are like, “Like hell you say!” And then I say, “Like hell I does!” And, then they make me regale them with stories about Massage Man and my buttocks.

I love how having one’s bottom massaged has bridge the gap between men. Where one straight man could say to a gay man-“Hey, I have had my bottom fondled and looked after, just like Lucresia!”  And the gay man, could say, “Me too!”

Okay, maybe I am taking it too far, but you know what I mean.

So, it was my turn to get my massage and today I got a new guy. I stood there wanting to keep the other guy that I have gotten before because in mind his hands were like a national treasure. But, how do you go and request a person specifically because he rubs your bottom better?  They might ask “why?”  And what am I going to say-“cause he really rubs my ass cheeks really good!”

No, thanks!

It is not as if it is like the nail salon, where you can ask for a certain girl to do your nails. No, this was different.

Dear Lord, why couldn’t this be the nail salon!

So, I disrobed and leaped on to the table.

This time there was no Christmas tunes to whisk me away.  So, what is a girl to do? I sang my own songs in my head. (see sidebar of Youtube videos).

Mr. Massage Man rubbed the oils into his hands and then started to work on my back.

First, he rubbed my back in long hard stokes. Oh, this man was a healer! I secretly peeked to see if he was walking on water like Jesus did. Cause healer hands this one has! And then I waited for it- the touching of the ass cheeks.

And he did it. (Enter full church choir here)

And I was glad. Now, I know how men feel when they want to get head. The girl makes her way down to the stomach and then she inches just over his belly button. I now feel as if I can share some kinship with all of the brothermans out there.

I am still not letting a penis near my whole of my ass though.

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