3433Please Note: This is extremely explicit, so it is not safe anywhere!7ee2d45ececf8272

My, my, my.

I was feeling like a regular person would feel healing after a car accident-frisky! So I decided to watch The Kreutzer Sonata.

tks2I don’t think that Tolstoy was going to do the movie this way if he were still around. But, he wrote it, so he must be naughty enough. It was even censored by Russian authorities in his day.

SIDE NOTE:

Dear Miss Elisabeth Rohm:Elisabeth-Rohm-13

Tell me something, why do “serious” actresses always feel the need to do full-on sex movies in order to give them a new audience.  Who would that “new” audience be? Horny teenage boys?  I, personally, think that it is a dumb move. DefinitelElisabeth-Rohm-11y something a Stupida would do.

We all know that you have sex.

You must know that you have sex.

So, why do you think as an actress must you show us that you know how to perform sex. And Possums, when you see this clip, obviously she knows how to do sex…very well.

But, lucky for us all, actresses, like Miss Rohm, still feel the need to do this and there will now be an imprint of their decision everywhere-on the Internet.

Player, press play!

(NOTE: You might have to keep clicking your cursor along the bottom of the player, or else it will keep on stopping.)

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It takes a very courageous director who begins a film with the ending. When a man walks into a room with fe882450329ea0f6blood on his hands and phones for an ambulance, it’s clear that there will be some tear shed. And when there kreutzersonataare only three main characters in the film, it is pretty easy to eventually figure out who done wrong. The question then remains, is there enough dramatic tension elsewhere to hold the interest of an audience who knows where the climax lies? Not me. I will read the book!

elisabeth_gq_04I am not sure that I like it when sex is real. I know. I know. If you can picture me having sex, then you wouldn’t either….well, I have been told I look pretty amazing….now I am hot and bothered. But, I like choreographed sex. Sex with fantasy, with sighing, and no sweating.

The work is suppose to examine an in-depth look at jealous rage. This is in-depth all right. It looks very “real”- with the floppy breasts, and going at it like rabbits.

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1. So simple. Two Butt Naked People.

2. Full use of the entire house.

3. Make-up-should be au natural, maybe even use mineral based make-up where the finishing is good and you won’t glisten that much. I wouldn’t worry about putting on waterproof mascara, cause as “real” as this looks, we ladies still know how to fake a good cry. For him, maybe a properly groomed bush. You think men out there don’t trim their bush hairs. Well, I digress, I won’t get into anything here, but you’d be surprised how many a man think they are Vidal Sasson or Oribe or something. Try catching a lover’s bush in the moonlight, and you may see a nice manicured lawn with a large (hopefully) tree sticking out in the middle!

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bggggdThis is inhabited raw raw plain sex. Like probably what they would do back in the 50′s era, when mommy and daddy thought that you were going to a drive-thru, but the only thing that was going to be driving was his penis into yoElisabeth-Rohm-9ur vagina.

This is not every day sex people, this is a movie here. This is about letting the passion mount so high that the house becomes the stage and the play would be your sex life. I would try to pick a fight or something. A play fight.  Nothing should be said that would be regretted later. But, be kreutzercareful. Make sure that you at least keep one eye open so that you can watch for any sharp corners, cause it is one thing to get carpet burn, but it is an entirely another thing to get a something coming at you that you weren’t expecting.

A sharp coffee table, ain’t the same as a loaded dick!

Enjoy plowing!

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When I watch this, for just a minute I forget all my troubles and feel somehow possums we are all united and happy.

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nnonoPossums, the ass in its totality is such a beautiful, often neglected instrument…QL-Glut_Max-Levator_Ani-Piriformis

Or so I thought!!!

I am so weirded out! I am too embarrassed to tell you what happened.

I can‘t sleep.

I can’t feel.

I can’t eat. Okay I can still eat, but since I am on my Kate Moss Diet, not so much! I want to feel as good as skinny feels!

I don’t want to go back to the Physio place anymore!

5I don’t know if I could even share this with anyone… okay, I have shared it with five people, and by now they have all told me to shut up about it already.

Possums, did you know that having your back and ass massaged can give you a migraine?

All was well in Lucresiaville. I was going to get me some rub a dub dub and then finish p-grandhotelbellevue-a2off my day at the local bookstore. I like to get a latte and a lemon cranberry muffin.  The combination is just top drawer!

It all started when I didn’t get one of my usual two guys. I disrobed and leaped on to the 1272_Small_modelage-HE_dermtable and waited for the man to come back in. We exchanged as much pleasantries as one could exchange during these times-me being butt naked and him, not.  And with a quick flick of a switch he put some nature music on;  you know the kind that doesn’t really sound like nature at all.  SIDE NOTE: I have been in many a bush and I can’t recall hearing any flutes and clarinets a blowing! Well…something else was blowing, but never you mind.

1997_Small_ZenArtAnd then Massage Man came towards me….

And instead of warming up the massage oil in his hand, Jigga proceeded to pour the cold oil right on my back! My back arched so high that you would thought I was giving head to a long duck dong! But, I wasn’t, cause I don’t do that sort of thing.

It was just a for instance.

Anyways, I threw my neck and back out.  I tried to get up, but I couldn’t even speak. I kept on sliding on the bed because Jigga went and poured like half the bottle of oil on my back. I felt like ten pieces of KFC fighting in their news040212kfc2greasy bucket of oil! I went one way, he went another way. And although, I laid on my stomach, it could not keep still! He kept on rolling me all over the place like a was the top of a pie on a cookie sheet! And then my skin started to feel irritated, or maybe it was me. But, it started to feel like it was on fire, as if I was allergic to all that oil. No woman ever wants to feel THAT wet.

Well, maybe…

But, I digress!

10I am so distraught that I high-tailed out of there so fast! My head started to throb like crazy, and now I am stuck at home taking all sorts of pills to get rid of my headache. Now, I am angry!

My back is out!

My neck hurts!

I didn’t even get to go to the bookstore!

And my ass has not been rubbed!

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HU059125A special mention goes to Adele Astaire.

A superb dancer too, Miss Astaire  stayed in the 3836145766_585a4a2f49shadows of her brother (no surprise there). Her famous brother Fred swung into many hearts of America….and so did his sister.

Top Drawer!

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naomi_campbell_bear

I know, I know, I keep posting Miss Campbell, but her body is haute!

And since this is a naked post and since all she seems to do is posed naked, well…lucky for me and lucky for us!

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BeFunky7“…you can’t dispose of Mercedes de Acosta lightly—she has had the two most important women in the US—Greta Garbo and Marlene Dietrich.”

Top Drawer!!

If you were going to be a closeted lesbian back in the day, you might as well go for the Cadillac of all lesbians. I wondered what it could have been like being between their legs, look up and see a movie star’s face in ecstasy?

Classic.

de_acostaBorn in New York City in 1893 to a Cuban father and a Spanish mother, Miss de Acosta was acostareportedly a descendant of the Spanish Dukes of Alba. Impressive!

But, like time honored traditions, Miss de Acosta married a man first before exercising her delicious right of exploring the poinsettia (it is Christmas after all), by marrying Abram Poole, a painter in 1920.  The marriage didn’t last long.  The couple divorced in 1935. I wonder why?

I am not sure if Mr. Poole did her wrong, or she always had a love for fine dining, but Miss Mercedes being the writealla2r that she was did not attempt to hide her sexuality. This woman collected lesbians like trading cards. And not a3223104283_2fd8e68879ny kind of lesbians, she liked them young and virile; kind of like how I like my many lovers. Her first venture that we know of was in 1916, when she began an affair with actress Alla Nazimova, and shortly thereafter started an affair with young actress Tallulah Bankhead, and later dancer Isadora Duncan. Shortly after marrying Abram Poole, de Acosta became involved in a long five-year isarelationship with actress Eva Le Gallienne. Though, like many hot-headed women before her, it took Miss de Acosta’s possessiveness and jealous nature to end the affair.

Over the next ten years, Miss Mercedes didn’t have to visit her dentist cause this woman’s dalliances kept her teeth well flossed! She slept with:

Author Salka Viertel

ColorNegri2Actress Pola Negri

Writer Edith Wharton

Writer and stage actress Katharine Cornell

Socialite Dorothy Fellowes-Gordon

Writer Amy Lowell

RuMercedes-de-Acosta2ssian ballerina Tamara Platonovna Karsavina

If I repeated any of the names of her lovers, please forgive me. My head is spinning! We all wish that we could live and love this much!!! Isn’t that what life is all about? But, I do ask myself if Miss de Acosta was searching for something. Then why all the lovers? I think that although sexing is fun, but each time you give yourself up in a non-relationship king of way, you are giving up a piece of yourself. Non?

In 1931, Miss Mercedes met the crème de la crème. The woman who liked to be left alone- Miss Greta Garbo.  She called Miss GretaGarbo02Greta the “love of her life”.  For the next 12 years, they had a unpredictable relationship.  Unfortunately, Miss Greta did not feel this way for long cause when the going- on’s got exposed she quickly denied everything! Though before everything hit the trifecta, they did many a things closeted girlfriends like to do.  At times Garbo would shower Mercedes with flowers and gifts.   Mercedes brief-garbo-MercedesdeAcostabecame so enamored that she pasted photos of Garbo into her Bible!!  They vacationed together, sunbathed in the nude, and even lived together for a time in 1932. Garbo occasionally asked Mercedes to do some shopping for her and even enlisted her aid in finding places to live, both in Hollywood and in New York.

briefe-MercedesdeAcostaDo you know where Miss Garbo’s saying-”I vat to be left alone” came from? From her telling Miss Mercedes that it was O-V-A. It all came to a head (sorry) in 1944, when Miss Garbo ended the relationship. She insisted de Acosta stop sending her poems and letters professing her love. I guess she really did want to be left Greta_Garbo_20alone.

In the end, Acosta wrote a controversial autobiography exposing many of her relationships to the public. These affairs have been confirmed through personal letters, and many of the affairs were known to Hollywood insiders, but were kept out of the headlines for the sake of the actresses’ career. Take note Tiger Woods baby- Letters, texting have a way of biting you back in the ass.cooltext429349258

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BeFffd1I had always wondered why my brother was better at handball than me. And then I thought about it-it was all in the wrist!soccergrab3

Think about this Possums,  the constant eye for detail of the pulling back the skin of the penis, not to say that I vision my brother doing this, but I have seen this done before, being the worldly woman that I am! And don’t forget about the constant stroking until the tootsie comes out of its roll! So, it is no wonder why he is so good!

So, possums, moral of the story is a you don’t have to cut open a sausage before it goes into the frying pan, the heat alone will pull off its skin!handball-catfight

donnep.s. I left a message with my father to ask my brother when he got home… And yes, he still hasn’t got circumcised. And my father would like to add, neither did he!

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