Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
You know the only time I thought that I had to lift and separate was when I put on my bra! I won’t go into too much detail, but Possums these bosoms aren’t in single digits anymore! So, it 
was to my surprise when I came across this contraption that lifts and separates something else and I thought I would share.
But, of course!
For those of you in the know, well done you! And for those, like me, who still can’t understand the true use of thongs, well player, play on.
Introducing the Butt Bra!
Top Drawer!
This bottom bra carries the 
weight of the bottom and lifts it up. It is suppose to make your bottom look like Kim Kardashian or Coco, I guess.
But, can you imagine if J-lo found out about this, oh the damage that she could do! She would be 
like a super hero! If you are about to be mugged, just shout out from the rooftops, a figure would appear from the 
skies and sit on the perpetrators, or if you find yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere, just cry out and a figure would appear out of the darkness and you can hop on her bottom and she can fly you to safety.
According to research done by Dr. Lucresia Linton of the Bottomsville University, she likens it to wearing a jock strap. She must warn you that after wearing it for too long, it can really begin to bug you in between your thighs! The Butt Bra not only defines your bottom’s curvature, but it also maximizes small or flat derrieres. There are no visible lines under most clothing and you can still wear it with your favorite undies.
Dr. Linton would like me to add that although she got her diploma in the mail, the Bottomsville University assured her, via email of course, that her diploma is very real.
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