You know that it is a grand day in big girl land when your mother actually approves of any big gal out there. Kind of funny, since she is a big girl herself! Which is a fact that she somehow keeps on forgetting!!! A fact that I like to remind her every chance that I get!!

But, of course!

Anyhoo, I went by my parents’ house filled with so much tingling in my ample body that I thought that I would have to pause and go back home to do the do, cause I stopped by my local bookstore and picked up not only V Magazine’s “Size Issue”, but a copy of Interview Magazine with Mr. Jay-Z on the cover, as well.

NOTE TO SELF: Mr. Jay, cuts such a strong jaw! His wife must be very lucky! You know what they say about men with strong jaws…well, that they are able to go for hours and hours deep sea diving, cause they don’t need no pillows or nothing!!! They got them large chins to prop them up, all night long!!

Top Drawer!

“Lucresia, Lucresia, come quick nah!”

I heard this voice before. It was the storm before the calm. I know that it is suppose to be the calm before the storm, but not when you are visiting my mother’s house! So, I  trotted from my sister’s room to her room frantically.

“Look at the girl in the back, are they real?” she asked.

I knew it! I had just left her the V Magazine for nary a second and she already found fault with it!

“What do you mean if they are real?” I asked.

“Why are they jutting out like that? No breast does that!”

“Well, her’s does!”

“Is she a lesbian? Why would she want to be standing in a room filled with naked women?” asked my mother.

“Cause she is an artist,” I said.

“I guess!”

“Aren’t they delicious though?” I asked, as I closely examined the photo.

“Their breasts???Are you a lesbian too?”

“Massa, I am talking about how their red shoes match their tube socks and their red shorty-shorts!” I explained.

“Oh! But, look at her breasts. I think I might get a breast lift. Do you think she got a breast lift? It just don’t look natural,” said my mother.

“Let me ask Aleka, he’s seen plenty! So, naturally he’ll be able to tell you if they can come that way!” I teased.

My mother kissed her teeth at the suggestion.

“Do you want me to ask Dad?” I asked.

“Don’t bother! Your dad wouldn’t know what he was looking at!”

*Images of Ms. Thomas via V Magazine*

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