Inside Mcdonald’s McCafe

Philadelphia, PA

“You, guys be quiet,” I said to Ava and Dante as I slowed down in front of the window of the customs officer.

” What is your citizenship?”

“We are Canadians, sir.”

“Where are you headed?”

“To Philadelphia, sir.”

“What is the purpose of your visit?”

“To visit my Aunt, sir.”

“When was the last time you went to Philadelphia?” he asked.

“I can’t remember…in like eight years or so…sir,” I responded.

“So, then why are you deciding to go now?”

“Cause she’s got the Cancer, sir,” I answered.

“Oh.”

He then told me to pop the trunk and I could hear him zip and unzip the bags.

“Who owns this car?” he asked.

“I hope you found what you were looking for,” I stated.

“What was that?”

“I do.”

“Aren’t these kids going to miss school?”

“Yes, sir.”

“So, then why would you let them miss school?”

“They hate school, sir.”

“What was that?”

“They are only missing so much. We have a holiday, sir.”

“A holiday? You’s got a President holiday, too?”

“No, sir. We don’t have a President, we have a Prime Minister.”

“What was that?” he asked.

“No, sir. We have Family Day, sir.”

“Family day? Family day?What the hell is Family day?”

“The government made a holiday where families can hang out together….Sir.”

“You people. You people and your government are always trying to copy us by coming up with stupid holidays!”

“Is Obama “you people” to….sir?” I asked.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

“Enjoy your stay,” he said handing over my documents.

“I guess!”

“You people!!” Are you kidding me????!!!

Possums, now I tell you, was the ass lonely or was he just plain stupid?

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