“What does one wear to such a solemn occasion as this?” I asked myself as I searched through my closet.

I missed one of my mother’s doctor appointments because I was in Philly, so I had to make sure that I would make it to this one. I didn’t want to wear white, because it seemed too clinical. And I don’t care what anyone says, white is not slimming…even if you squint! Black, seemed so sad and pessimistic. I could go with yellow or gold, but it just seemed way too bright. And then I got to thinking about all the eligible doctors at the hospital and it was downtown, so I settled on black cause it was fetching and slimming. What is that thing people always say, “Black is beautiful?” Yeah, Black IS beautiful, especially if you have your hands on a black Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress cut just so.

Possums, the air permeated with uncertainty, as the three of us (my sister, my mother and I) waited for her name to be called as we sat in the waiting room. It was not only a battle of wits, but a battle of perfume of three Black women! I think my sister won. Nothing can beat cheap cologne, I say! Darn tootin’!

I thought about picking up a magazine, but I couldn’t concentrate. So, being who I am, I looked around the room, and studied people’s faces. My mother and sister being who they are talked to each other in hushed tones…about the people in the room.

“I wonder what he is in here for?”

“I love her hair. I wondered where she bought it?”

Finally, our names were called and my sister and I fell back, so that my mother could walk into the examination room first.

“Watch the door for me.”

“Mom!”

“What? You are going to be the same one calling my phone, asking me if I have any plastic gloves to perm your hair!”

Possums, I have to let you in on a secret. When I was little, my mother would pillage the drawers of the doctors. Nothing serious-just cotton balls, plastic gloves, free medicine samples, lotion, antibacterial lotion, towellettes, rubbing alcohol, brochures on how to quit smoking (for my Dad), facial cream, note pads, lost of sexual drives in seniors (again for my Dad) and pens. My mother reckoned that the samples are going to be given free anyways…she was just hurrying the good old doctor along.

Possums, don’t be acting like it never crossed your mind as you sat in your doctor’s office, either!

Come to think of it, we never took those long wooden stick things that the doctor holds down your tongue with. I guess, we never did like anything long and hard in our mouths…

Well…

My mother’s doctor let her know that she has to get a bone marrow scan for further testing, which means that she is definitely going to have day surgery. She had it many years ago, and it is very painful. I felt it for her. Truly, I did.

When the doctor removed himself from the room, his decision was left clouding the air. So, I decided to clear it.

“What do you think about me getting myself some butt implants?”

“Lucresia!” said my sister.

My mother guffawed.

Hey, sometimes you have to laugh, or else you are going to cry.

All Contents Copyright 2008-2011. lucresialinton.com All Rights Reserved.