As you may not know, I am all for the environment. I may not “do” parks (BBQ, clambakes et al), but that depends on who you speak to and whether there is a nice stiff breeze close by. Ha! And I would also like you to know that I was one of the first people to purchase a recycle bag for all my special purchases…zebra, of course!  So, I have come up with my own way of reducing your carbon footprint.

1.  Use the elevator-Why not take the elevator, so that you don’t sweat as much. I know that we should be all about the glow, but sweat is sweat and why have so much sweat, if there is no sex involved!

2.  Dine Out-Eat out and eat out often, I say! I know some people, especially women, would prefer to eat in (yes, me too please!). You should decide to eat out so that you avoid getting exhausted and sweaty while cooking. Again, why do so much work, if there is no sex involved!

3.  Take Long Baths- I take long drawn-out baths, so that I don’t have the shower running long. I like to soak my neck and back, so that I spend less time driving and burning gas going to my weekly massage therapist.

4.  When Doing Make-up think “Raccoon”- Put on your make-up real heavy,  so that you don’t have to do it for a few days. You will be reducing your carbon footprint by not only saving precious time, but you will have more time to do things in the morning before you trot off to work. And then you can take your time and find alternate routes in getting there.  I personally love the smudged make-up look, but I would make sure to carry a pocketful of Q-tips.  You can dab a mess here and dab at a mess there. It’s one thing going into work looking very rocker chic, but it is a whole other story looking like you have been crying over your morning Fruit Loops!

5. Tuck and Fold- This has to be my least favorite, that I will never ever master. Nor, will I ever be with a person, who does. I don’t care if they wash their hands, after. Cause I know that the eco-nistas will be all over me, they will want me to tell you to either- pull apart your 2 ply toilet paper and turn it into 1 ply or after you wipe, fold and then wipe again. Now, the reason why I put this last on the list, is due to a little mishap when I was a youngin’. Never again though. Never again. I shudder at the thought. I can afford the toilet paper!

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