Possums, being that it is still the recession et al, I wondered to myself if there was any way to save here, and like Italian men, pinch there.

The other day, I woke up late and Miss Ava and I decided to go to a local restaurant for the All- Day breakfast.  I know deep down inside that going to restaurants a lot is not responsible, money-wise. So Possums, I have taken to heating up left-overs. My breakfast restaurant left-overs, that is!  Well, I didn’t heat it up, but I made Ava offered to do it.  And then she heated up the sausage really high because she says that she fears me getting food poisoning.

I can’t believe I am going to say this, but you know that I love me some sausage. But left-over sausage?  Not so much! It is so hard, that it tastes almost bitter in your mouth!  So, hard, the sausage is!

Possums, I ask you- how does a woman take another woman’s man? The sausage is never the same!

Remember that!

But, I still wasn’t cutting back as much as I could, so I came up with the brilliant idea of turning my bedroom escapades into a mini spa! Think about it, if I need a pedicure I can just get him to do it! Possums, many a man can’t pass up fondling a woman’s feet. You can even get him to choose the color if you dare!

If I need a massage, I could just ask for one. What is the point of having all that massage oil in my “never-you-mind-Ava” drawer? And if I play my cards quite nicely, and mush up some papaya and avocado in a bowl, I could get him to rub the stuff all over my face and body and then afterwards we could wash it off in the shower, together. He will think that I am being my usual “inventive” self, when all I was really trying to do was bring a little spa back in to my life, proper.

I have also given up getting my nails done, so my companions will just have to make do with me scratching their backs with something hard like those back scratchers or I could give him a love bite, instead.

How very Twilight of me!

I am not about to get rid of my love for all things hair, nor will I give up my love for all soft cheeses. I usually hate things that are soft, but nothing taste better than some blue cheese spread out on a whole wheat cracker!

But, I digress.

And if I am in need of a wax…

Well…

I am still thinking about that one. Maybe, I could just start on him, instead. He wouldn’t have to pay me for my services because it would be benefiting the both of us, and mankind, come to think of it, cause Possums, there are many a men out there who have a lot of hair on their backs!

Still!

And Possums, when I talk of hairy back, am referring to Robin Williams type of hairy. I don’t know how men just pay attention in getting rid of the hair in the front of their face, but not in the back! I mean, whenever I try on something, I never step away from the mirror without checking how the electric bogaloo looks behind me! Anyhoo, back hair repels me. It is right up their with hairy knuckles.

But, of course!

So, maybe I could then offer men spa services, too because I get real itchy if I kiss a guy with a beard. That is also why I know that I could never go down on a fully-bearded woman. I would use the “look-ma-no-hands”method-all machine and no thumbs!

A tit for a tat?

I say!

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