Possums, how many ways can one cook crow?

I think that you can broil it.

You can bake it.

You can quick-fry it.

You can blend it (for those fitness fanatics).

I think that you can even put it in one of those George Foreman grills, if positioned right.

Think steak, that tastes like chicken.

At least, that is what my father used to say when he tried to serve me quail as a young child. I am sorry, but I can’t eat anything were the body is still intact in its whole entirety. My brother used to take his quail and do the cha-cha dance across his plate.  My father didn’t take this too kindly, which is why ‘til this day, whenever my brother walks past my father, my dad, with a shake of his head, whispers- “that flippin’ boy” underneath his breath.

I knew that there was something wrong with my body.  I just hope one day I don’t have to find out how to cook or eat crow. Cause if I am made to eat it , I know that I ain’t going to like it!

“Well, it looks like you tested positive for three things…” my doctor started off.

“I did?”

Apparently, Possums, I tested positive Sjogren Syndrome, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), otherwise known in layman’s term-LUPUS.

Excuse my computer manners, but ain’t that a well-placed bowl of F**k that I’ve been served!

That is why I have been feeling so tired and achy! As the days go by, the pain overtakes my plump, yet sexy virile worldly body and goes from my feet all the way up to my neck. It is almost like when you kiss a new love for the first time and you get that gush of electricity going through your veins. Well, it is almost the same thing, except painful! And we all know what happens when you get hit by electricity!

My doctor served me up a look on a platter and let the aroma of the news fill the room.  And I gave him a look as if he was an un-invited guest who pulled up to my table for dinner!

I should have stolen that magazine after all!

When he wasn’t looking, I asked the secretary to print the findings of my blood work, picked up my referral for a rheumatologist and was on my way.

To think that I have been telling this fool doctor that the pain has been escalating in again my plump, yet sexy virile worldly body and he didn’t believe me. Every time I went in there I felt as if I was a prosecutor trying to prove my case to the judge. Well, I tell you one thing, they are not going to through the book at me, yet. So, I went home, I looked up all these things on the computer and found:

“Sjogren Syndrome is an autoimmune disorder in which immune cells attack and destroy the exocrine glands that produce tears and saliva. It may affect other organs of the body, including the kidneys, blood vessels, lungs, liver, pancreas, and brain. The hallmark symptoms of the disorder are dry mouth and dry eyes, vaginal dryness, skin and nose …”

R-E-W-I-N-D

Did they just mention “dryness of the vagina!”

Surely you jest!

I know what you are thinking, that maybe I should be worried about other things, like my organs were being attacked, but I figure that if I had to lose an organ or two, it may provide me a very slimming effect! But, my muffin…and then on top of that the dryness of the muffin…that I couldn’t handle! Anyhoo, my muffin has no dryness thank you very much!

I checked!

But, will I end up with a crusty dry muffin in the long run? It still remains to be seen. It is not as if I have to run to the drugstore for some vaginal oils or something. I guess I will have to keep testing for dryness to come in some organic way…with some help.

But, of course!

By the way, Possums, I am sorry for making so many jokes, but like I always say sometimes you have to laugh or else you are going to cry.

All Contents Copyright 2008-2011. lucresialinton.com All Rights Reserved.