I was having my morning espresso when Miss Ava plopped herself in front of me at the kitchen table.

“If something were to happen to you, I will be okay. I know how I am going to support myself,” she said looking at me.

“Oh, yeah? What do you plan to do?” I asked, taking another sip of my espresso.

“I’m a gonna open myself up a brothel,” she replied.

“Excuse you!”

Possums, she was dead serious.

You see every other Saturday morning, Ava likes to sit in front of her computer and look up old movies (old being-from the eighties) and watch a few of them.  I know that it may sound boring, but I am thankful that it is still the little things that give her joy.

“Excuse you!” I repeated.

“I was watching the movie ‘Risky Business‘, you know the one where Tom Cruise dances in his underwear and that’s where I got the idea from,” she stated.

“Hmmn. So brothel, eh?”

“Yes, and I am going to rent a place, get some girls and take a cut every time they are with a guy,” she explained looking right at me, not even batting an eye-lash.

“Hold on. It is not that simple. Suppose the girls don’t want to give you any money. What are you going to do, then?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she pondered, looking over my shoulder. “I know. I will take away their hair allowance,” she answered.

“Take away what?” I asked.

“And you know that Black girls always need their hair done, so I will hit them where it hurts! And I will take away their hair allowance AND their nail allowance too!” she finished, still looking at me with a very serious look on her face.

“And what about the cops?” I asked testing her further. ” It IS illegal to open up a brothel in Canada.”

“I will just have to give them some freebies. Freebies and donuts,” she replied.

“And how much are you going to charge?”

“I haven’t worked that out yet. But, I know that men will pay any price I tell them. And I may give discounts like ‘Half-Price Tuesdays’ or something.”

“Or something, eh? What about men?  You ain’t going to hire men? You have to be an equal opportunist; I think that’s what they call it.”

“Yeah, I’ll hire some boys too. But, I have to grow my business slowly and see where the demand is.”

Possums!

I mean!

Possums!

Looking at how serious her face was and the fact that she was holding a pad of paper the whole time, I had to actually get up from the table.

It was safer that way.

I took my magazine and headed to the bedroom. I came out to find Ava on the telephone.

“Who you are the phone with?” I asked.

“With Auntie.”

“Oh.” I replied walking past her.

“Auntie do you want a job? I am starting up a brothel.”

Possums, Tom Cruise Has Nothing On This Kid!

Risky Business, Indeed!

All Contents Copyright 2008-2011. lucresialinton.com All Rights Reserved.