Oh Possums, I have seen my very near future and it is filled with healings and Bible revivals!

Everyone is trying to burn the sickness right out of me!

People are burning Frankincense, Myrrh and Sage around me. I have been waking up to find aroma of smoke and it ain’t from bacon! Crucifixes are hanging from the strangest places-over my kitchen island, over my bed and over my bathroom mirror. Like I need any crucifixes in my bathroom.  All I need is a daily dose of fiber, a spanking new magazine and I can use the bathroom just fine!

My mother is convinced that there is only one way to detox a body out, and that is to call Gospel Man and Preacher Woman.

Let me tell you about Gospel Man and Preacher Woman. They are the only Black people who are free on Friday nights! It is funny how a cheque or cash totaling $350.00 always frees up a busy schedule.

And don’t even try worrying about keep a running tab with them. Gospel Man is quite up with the Joneses.

He carries a debit card machine.

Gospel Man placed down a rock on the table.

“What’s does this symbolize?” I asked.

“This symbolizes to keep your feet on the ground.”

Then Gospel Man placed down a feather on the table.

“What’s does this symbolize?” I asked.

“This symbolizes for your dreams to always take flight.”

Then Gospel Man placed down an apple on the table.

“What’s does this symbolize?” I asked.

“This symbolizes to always remember to share your bounty with others.”

Then Gospel Man placed down a piece of gum on the table.

“What’s does this symbolize?” I asked.

“Gum. It’s for me to chew.”

“Oh.”
Then I had to sit on chair in the middle of the room with a glass of water in front of me.

“What’s that water there for?” I asked Preacher Woman as I watched her tie up her head with a white scarf.

“It is for you to drink after the ceremony,” she answered.

“Won’t a glass of Coke do?”

She gave me a look and started to bang on her tambourine, while Gospel Man doused me with holy water.

Possums, did you know that holy water doesn’t burn?

I assumed that someone of a certain worldly and sophisticated nature as I am, their skin would burn. But, it doesn’t.

Thank Christ!

But, I don’t care.  It didn’t work!

And it still hurts to type!

My fingers, at times, are still swollen and red, that on a Black person I look like a colorful walking piñata!

I did feel light in the head, though.

Or was it my pockets!

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