“We are going in, now. I don’t want you to embarrass me!” I told my mother and Ava.

We were at the new Michael Kors store in the Toronto Eaton Centre. It is located on the fourth floor. When you come around the corner of the mall all you see is this cube of white. It is Mecca.

“Embarrass you? What? In front of the salespeople?” asked my mother.

“No. In front of the bags and shoes! This is a luxury store, and at these prices you know that the merchandise have a mind and mouth of their own!” I answered back.

Possums, I love the layout of the store! Mr. Michael even has his own runway show playing in the background on the wall.

Super-sized!

You almost feel like you are right on the runway as the model comes towards you. I was in a daze when my mother tugged at my arm.

“Why aren’t there more clothes on the racks?” she whispering loudly.

“Because Mr. Kors probably wants us to only focus on his latest collection. Why are you whispering so loud?” I asked her.

“Why? Is he gonna come out from the back room?” asked my mother.

“No, but this is a respectable establishment! People don’t pillage through the racks like it is some bargain basement! They smile at each other knowingly, as they finger the clothes appreciatively.”

“Oh,” she answered.

Possums, in most luxury stores there is not even a sale sign, but in Michael Kors, there are sale signs! I couldn’t believe it! You hear that Louis Vuitton and Tiffany’s!!

The sales girls were so nice with me, too! They didn’t even bat an eyelash when I asked what the price was, nor did I feel uncomfortable asking it either, unlike, the Louis Vuitton sales lady in Yorkdale Mall, who made a young girl cry afterwards, just because she asked the price of a bag, which she never bothered to buy for me because she just wanted to hightail it out of there, pronto!

Not that it happened to me.

It happened to Ava!

Possums, the sales lady on the phone even turn to me and asked me if I needed some help! She was so attentive! I felt so wanted.

“Where are the prices?” whispered Ava.

“I think that you are not supposed to ask for them,” I schooled her.

“Well, I can’t shop this way! I have to know how much something is before I fall in love with it! Just like I did with your father,” said my mother as she dug her fingers into a bag.  Possums, that is why my parents are so happy!

Ava does have great taste though! She liked what was to be my second favorite bag in the store. It is a tan number with a twisted braid going through it. But, I let her know that although it was her birthday next month, she was not going to get no bag.

Not before I got mine first.

Either that or when pigs fly!

I walked towards the shoe section. I caught a look at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a pencil skirt, tiger print blouse that hung off my shoulder just so and sandals. I looked like a Black Catherine Deneuve in Belle of the Ball Du Jour! Mr. Kors would have been proud! As I looked in the mirror something else caught my eye. No it wasn’t my mother’s non-expression, but the people.

Black people!

Almost every customer in there was Black!

The security guard looked like his head was going to spin!

Ha!

There were so much Black people in the store that he didn’t know where to look! Eventually, Mr. Security Man gave up! The man turned around and looked straight ahead from his post.

I did notice, however, that all the white women came in and bought on their own. While, all the Black women had their men with them. Oh, Possums, you should have heard the pleading and the bargaining!

Possums, I didn’t even bother to look at the shoes. Lately, my feet keep on swelling. One day I am a size six ten and the next, an seven eleven. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. You know what they say about girls with big feet? Their large feet come in handy when her legs are over his shoulders while making love, and she is able to swat away flies!

And then it happened.

You know Possums, they say that when the air stands still an angel of the Lord is around you. I say when the air stands still you better hope that there is a mobile CPR machine available, cause I know I just lost my breath!

I was just about finished with the store when a leather apparition of such fashionistic- proportions came before me!

Possums, Mickey has done it!

This is a statement bag!

I don’t know about you, but Possums every once in awhile a designer will just hit that stride, that moment when they just get it on all levels.

Louis Vuitton has them Speedy bags.

Hermes has the Birkin and Kelly bags.

Fendi has those teeny tiny bags that keep slipping off my arms.

Michael Kors has the Hamilton Large Tote SKU #MKS10-V0GDW!

In Tan!!!

The bag comes in big and small, but as you know me so well  Possums, I preferred the larger of the two. In tan (yes, I said it twice and I will BOLD it too)!! Ava said she liked the smaller one better. I told Ava it was like choosing between a shorter-penis man and a longer-penis man. With hardly any coxing of my own, Ava realized that it was definitely a no-brainer. Thank Christ! I thought I had to pull out my notebook and draw pictures!

Possums, I needed me the bigger one!

I grabbed the bag off the rack. I know that I was probably being watched, but I don’t care. For once I didn’t feel my color. I felt like a shopper-a woman who was a lover of clothes and fine luxury items. Though, I couldn’t resist, I had to look at the price.

Then I felt Black.

Anyhoo, the price surprised me! It was reasonable, only about five hundred and change in Canadian dollars. And there are no waiting lists, either! Mr. Kors gets me. He is the white brother I never had. His clothes and bags are like a lover that is so great he makes your toes curl!

I brought the bag up closer to my eyes.

“Do you think this would fit me?” asked my mother pointing to an outfit from behind.

“No,” I answered.  Possums, my toes would curl so far back if I got this bag, that if I flung myself on the pavement in front airplanes…I could direct them in!

“And what about this?” asked my mother.

“No,” I answered. Possums, such a feat my toes would accomplish that people would think that a phenomenon had happened in the aviation industry! Maybe even garner me  a reality show!

“And this?” asked my mother.

“No,” I answered. Forget the reality show. Possums, don’t you think that we belong together?

“Do you think I could get your father to buy me this?” asked my mother.

“No,” I answered. Possums, I already made up my mind to buy a special jar and mark it with Hamilton Large Tote SKU #MKS10-V0GDW in Tan, so that I could start saving for my new purse. I think that good things come to those who pray hope and plead save, so instead of just buying it outright, I am going to be conscious and save up for it.

How recessionista of me!

I turned around with the bag in my hand, catching my mother off guard.

“What do you think about this bag?” I asked my mother.

My mother looked at it.

“You have to speak up mom. I can’t tell what you are thinking anymore!” I told her.

Possums, since my mother tattooed her eyebrows on, I can’t tell what she is thinking! She always looks surprise and in certain lights, angry! And on top of getting used to the darker brows, my mother no longer has her doe eyes. She ripped off her eyelashes! She and my sister! My mother used olive oil and water, while my sister used Vaseline and hot compresses.

No one used lash remover!

While my mother stood there trying to choose whether to cuss me out or decide over the prettiness of the bag, we both looked over to the sales lady trying to help a man along who was eyeing a watch.

“I know the watch is a little feminine, right?” the sales girl asked the man.

“Yes, but you could carry it off!” butted in my mother, looking up and down at the man’s light blue silk tight blouse and white silky pants.

An Update (The Next Morn):

“I want that bag! Please!” Ava told me pulling up a chair to the table.

I was having my morning espresso.

“Umm,” I answered.

“I heard rustling in the trees this morning when I got up!” she said.

“Chile, don’t think about trying to trick me,” I said putting my paper aside.

“That rustlin’ weren’t no pigs. It must have been a vampire!”

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