Don’t settle Possums.
Don’t ever settle.
Then you will have no regrets in love or in life.
Watch the beautiful manifesto of love between model Coco Rocha and her elegant new husband.
Swoon.
Coco + James // Short film from on Vimeo.
Also featured on Coco Rocha’s blog: ohsococo.blogspot.com
Oprah did it.
Andre Leon Talley did it.
And he got a new tennis outfit!
And trousers by Damon Dash AND shirts from Ralph Lauren AND a diamond-encrusted vintage Piaget watch to tell time between serves AND he even has a special designer case to hold his water!
So, they both did it and they are the most famous Black people on earth.
Well, except maybe Russell Simmons.
Possums, I have an announcement-I am going on a new diet!
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
I call it the Anna Wintour Diet a.k.a. Fashion’s Night Out Diet!
Possums, I am so excited! I just bought plane tickets for Ava and I to go to New York City! I knew that I wanted our annual family trip to be either to Miami or NYC, but when I realized that Fashion’s Night Out was coming up, I knew that it was a no-brainer. NYC it is! Picture 
moi and a group of people, for one night only, getting our puss-on as we devour style.
Sounds like a one-night stand to me!
On September 10th, boutiques will stay open late and welcome shoppers, like moi, with champagne and canapés, offer styling advice and makeovers, and the opportunity to buy limited-edition items and win fabulous prizes. (Didn’t that just sound like an ad?)
Possums, I was getting together a list of all the things I need to bring with us when I realized that I may just have to buy an extra seat on the plane to fit my behind! Okay, so maybe I am not that far gone, but just in case I have decided to go on a new diet.
And yo
u know why?
“Because Miss Anna don’t like fat people.”
That is what Mr. Talley said to Miss Oprah!
And you know Miss Anna is going to be at most of the events, keeping every single moving and breathing thing in order! Just looking at the girls who work at Vogue I can tell that maybe they are not the sort who eats bread and scalloped potatoes for dinner. Outsiders probably think that they are all on cucumber sandwiches and bottle water diets, but I personally think it is nervous exhaustion of trying not to let Ms. Anna down. Non?
In order to gather research for my new diet, I consulted a reliable book on all things Anna-“The Devil Wears Prada”. According to the book, it looks like Miss Anna follows a high protein diet, for she eats a steak for lunch almost every day, so I think that is what I will do…with a little bit of tweaking.
But, of course!
Protein Shake and (espresso with a lot of Sugar, cause that’s how I do)
Steak and Steamed Veggies
Quickie Sex (cause Miss Anna would want me to exercise)
Steak and Steamed Veggies
Low-fat ice cream or a piece of chicken leg or sex (again for Miss Anna)
I would love to meet Ms. Anna. According to legend, she was introduced to Bob Marley back in day and disappeared with him for a week!
A week!
I wonder what they did? What would you do if you disappeared with a dread for a week?
They probably read scripture every night!
The Book of Songs, I think!
I know that Mr. Talley was game to try a new lifestyle to better his health. But, as for Oprah, Miss Anna said that-
“it was a very gentle suggestion. I went to Chicago to visit Oprah, and I suggested that it might be [good] idea that she lose a little bit of weight. I said simply that you might feel more comfortable. She was a trooper! She totally welcomed the idea, and she went on a very stringent diet. And it was one of our most successful covers ever.”
Uh-uh.
Miss Oprah must have wanted the cover so much that she wasn’t insulted by the suggestion.
However, on the other side of the spectrum, and this has nothing to do with Miss Anna, but it was alleged that Miss Aretha Franklin was “insulted” by Jenny Craig’s invitation to be their spokesperson.
Ha!
The singer signed up with the company two years ago and dropped 25 pounds on a 1,750 calorie-a-day diet. Aretha quit Jenny Craig a few months later, complaining that she was “always starving.”
Ya think!
Possums, I think the last time I was on a 1,750 calorie-a-day diet, I was being bottle-fed!
In the June 2007 issue of Sister 2 Sister Magazine, Aretha said:
“I lost 23 or 24 pounds to begin with, but it’s kind of a strain when you get to 23 or 24 pounds. That’s why I got off of it. It’s a strain because you’re eating the Jenny Craig-type meals, which are very good. But you can only eat them for so long before you want some barbecue ribs or some pigs feet. Once you get off that Jenny Craig thing and you start eating what you’ve been eating, it’s all over.”
And Possums, why should she whittle all away? Miss Aretha got the breasts that only a cow could envy! You see Possums, give a man bread, he can feed his family, but give a man those breasts, he can feed his town and surrounding villages!
I don’t know how I would feel if someone asked me to lose weight for a cover. I just know that in this day and age, with technology floating around, I don’t think that I need to make such a strenuous effort. It’s called Photoshop! I do know that if I ever had the opportunity to grace the pages of Vogue, and they asked me if I wanted to be touched-up? I would be like, “YES. PLEASE!”
Possums, I would call the Retoucher Man’s assistant and find out what liquor and gourmet foods the man likes to eat and put together a basket of choice meats and breads! I would even offer to sit beside the Retoucher Man and make sure that the Jigga takes enough off! Possums, we would be going into body parts and everything!
“Miss Li
nton, your vagina makes your hips look too wide?”
“Then dear, take it out! I don’t need to use it in the picture! This ain’t Playboy!”
“Miss Linton, do you really need that much knee cap?”
“Then Honey shave them down! If the Mafia don’t mind taking others’ knee caps out, then why should we!”
And to finish off the process, Possums, I would be adding in beauty marks, higher cheekbones, and a long and lean silhouette!
Remember Possums, the beauty of men was not built on lighting alone!
http://www.fashionsnightout.com/
Please be advised that Miss Anna Wintour ain’t got no diet! And if she did the world would be the last to know. We still don’t know what happened between she and Bob Marley!
*Miss Wintour does not endorse any diet on this website. For entertainment purposes only.
I am in love with the bravado of this woman!
Love her!
From the good folks at chive.com:
We received the following photos last night from a person who works with this girl. Her name is Jenny (not confirmed) – we’re working our contact for Jenny’s last name. Yesterday morning, Jenny quit her job with a (flash)bang by emailing these photos to the entire office, about 20 employees we’re told. Awesome doesn’t begin to describe this office heroine. Check back as we will be updating if we get more details.
Possums, I have something between my legs and it is hot!
Actually it is my heating pad that I keep on my thighs for pain. I love this thing! However, once I fell asleep with it on and then I must have turned over…
Hot damn!
Let’s just say that a curling iron isn’t the only thing that could singe off hair!
I use the heating pad for pain relief. Unfortunately, it is not pain from hours of hours of glorious sex, but from my illness. Speaking of which, I finally got some idea of what I have.
I am in the same predicament as Lady Gaga. I am borderline Lupus, whatever that is. I think it means that a person can have different amounts of levels of a disease, and mine is just borderline. I guess I can say that I am in good company, sharing something with Miss Gaga and all.
I do have Sjogren’s Syndrome and I still have to go through a battery of tests to check for other mixed connective tissues diseases. But, for now I have to take Prednisone, which is a steroid. Possums, do you know that steroids can
cause puffiness. That may be all well and good…if I had a penis! Maybe the puffiness will go straight to my breasts, which to those who will benefit, hurray, but to me, not so good, I don’t think I want to be in Club E. I am still getting used to being in Club DD!
It is slightly getting harder to get through my day without taking pain medication. I have to make a choice-either take them and have a productive day or don’t take them, and stay in bed with pain. I can get used to tightened limbs and pain, I guess! But, if I ever lost the ability to sing….
Mind you, I take Acid Reflux pills so that the acidity in my stomach doesn’t rise out
of my esophagus and into my throat, which it has in the past. But, Possums, you don’t realize that all I have ever wanted to do was sing. Even when I had books and movies to escape to as a child, nothing fueled my soul as to when I would lock my door and in my yellow bedroom I would dance and dance and sing. And when I realized that I could write lyrics and set them to music, I knew that it was a gift from God.
The music that I am working on now is different from what you hear on my MYSPACE. It is saucy, it is humble, it is jazz! Have you ever felt like you have come home? I always thought of jazz in the back of my mind, while I was doing pop/r&b. I even had a jazz singing teacher who told me that I looked like Billy Holiday. She gave me so much encouragement! I remember for homework I had to study the greats-Armstrong, Simone, Davis, and of course, Ella. I think I told you that once when Ava was small we were watching the movie “Autumn In New York” and a Billie Holiday song came on and Ava in all her loudness asked me (and everyone) if that was me singing? Possums, you couldn’t tell Ava that is wasn’t me singing!
If this ability is taken away from me, the ability to sing, I don’t know what I am going to do.
Re-invent myself?
I suppose.
But, I can’t and I won’t give up easy!
One of my favorite Bible passages is the story of:
Luke 18:1-8 18:1 Then 1 Jesus 2 told them a parable to show them they should always 3 pray and not lose heart. 4 18:2 He said, 5 “In a certain city 6 there was a judge 7 who neither feared God nor respected people. 8 18:3 There was also a widow 9 in that city 10 who kept coming 11 to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 18:4 For 12 a while he refused, but later on 13 he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor have regard for people, 14 18:5 yet because this widow keeps on bothering me, I will give her justice, or in the end she will wear me out 15 by her unending pleas.’” 16 18:6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unrighteous judge says! 17 18:7 Won’t 18 God give justice to his chosen ones, who cry out 19 to him day and night? 20 Will he delay 21 long to help them? 18:8 I tell you, he will give them justice speedily. 22 Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith 23 on earth?”
Remember Possums, that persistent prayer is the action of showing faith in God who, while there may be delays in His answers, He will always act justly with respect to His followers.
You know that I always pictured myself as that woman and God as the judge. And if I just keep on bugging him all day long, one day he will answer my prayer.
I always say that I am so glad that they invented Bluetooth. You may see Bluetooth, but I see a way that I can bug talk to God, in public, without people thinking that I am crazy.
They’ll just think I am using my Bluetooth!
Here are some fantastical sites for more information:
Reasonably Well-Living Well With Sjogren’s Syndrome
My cousin who I consider is the female equivalent of Russell Simmons (Vegetarian-yoga-loving swears-a lot-mogul), sent this to me via email. 
It warmed my soul.
A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked
‘How heavy is this glass of water?’
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.’
He continued,
‘And that’s the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won’t be able to carry on. ‘
‘As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.’
‘So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.’
Don’t carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you’re carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.’
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don’t pick it up again until after you’ve rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you’re the pigeon,
And some days you’re the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.
* Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be
Recalled by their maker.
* If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well.
Just get up and dance.
* Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything’s coming your way,
You’re in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons… Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today…
I did.
Namaste
I am at a loss for words.
Seriously.
Simply lovely, though.
The breasts I am talking.
The breasts.
I just got a thought (I knew it would happen in a second) this is a pose I will strike while I am in bed! Hands up by the hair as if I have a migraine from the orgasm..or from faking it too hard!
Lookie how it brings up the breasts taut and fro, non?
But, of course!
Possums, I remember my first time with a man of a lighter persuasion.
It wasn’t hard to tell our bodies a part in the mirror above the bed. His vanilla seemed to mix well with my coco cocoa. I learned two things that night-number one, not all white man are dicked the same and number two, it was the first time I was able to run my fingers through his hair and it wasn’t:
1. Snagged by a cornrow
2. Stopped by kinky curls
3. Or stopped by an Afro pick!
I was able to run my nimble fingers through his luxurious hair, down his nape and onwards. His choice of music may have borderline between pop and soft rock, but that was okay, I brought enough funk soul to the bedroom.
Possums, did I tell you I made a startling discovery that night. Some white men are silky on top and coarse down below and vice versa for Black men. I don’t know if this was intentional or God got tired towards the third day and 
made a small kerfuffle, but I thought it was my duty to bring this up.
You wouldn’t tell by looking at, but Monsieur De Niro favors blackberries and lots of it! Do you know that the majority of De Niro’s loves and wives have been Black? There is something about Italian and Black woman.
You think it’s a joke.
No way!
I remember yonder years ago when I worked at the renowned coffee shop known for its taste of eclectic music, divine pastries, and enchanting ambiance. Okay it was Starbucks, but you get my drift! Anyways, I knew this Italian boy named Mario. I say “boy” because Jigga acted like the whole world and the women in it were a candy store! But, don’t you dare think of Mario being naive. Although, he made the female customers fall all over him because of his strong sexy accent and broken English, Mario knew how to play them. In between my “spa” moments behind the bar (trust me Possums, if you have clogged up pores, go behind the bar and make espresso, all that prevails you will clear up!) I used to watch Mario collect phone numbers.
Why didn’t I fall for Mario? Because what was probably mistaken for sweat was actually grease! And Possums, I can’t stand a greasy man!
One night, I caught Mario checking out the behind of a Black girl. When she left with his phone number, I mentioned to him that I didn’t know that he was into Black girls, since all I saw him pick up were young or middle-aged white women. Mario let me know in his broken English “come si dice?” way that Italian men loved Black women. That Black women remind Italian men of their mothers-big-tittied, strong-willed, amazing cooks, and according to their father’s, “brava a letto”!!! Translation: “good in bed”!
Well, Possums, book me a ticket to Rome!
He also went on about how much effort Black women seem to put into themselves, especially their hair.
Ha!
Ain’t that right!
He also waxed on about their plentiful bottoms and strapping legs. SIDE NOTE: Possums, it took a lot for me not to throw myself behind the bar with my strapping legs high above my head!
“But…,” he started.
“But, what?” I asked.
“We can’t marry them,” he finished.
Possums, there goes the summers in Firenze and the dinners of heaping fettuccine! SIDE NOTE: Okay, I will still have the heaping plates of fettuccine, whether or not I go to Firenze!
“Why can’t you marry me, I mean us?” I asked innocently.
“Because what would mama think?”
“Mama?”
“Yes, how would Mama explain all those brown babies. And Papa said that Black girls are good in bed except their front smells of fish!”
What a manja cake!
“OUR FRONTS SMELL LIKE FISH?” I yelled.
“Yes. It is what Papa said,” said Mario.
Possums, him and his father can go dine on my anchovy!
At least De Niro doesn’t seem to be as weak-minded as Starbucks Mario was!
Mr. De Niro’s first wife, Diahnne Abbott-Black.
He dated Naomi Campbell-Black.
Other girlfriends (Pam Grier and Veronica Webb and Toukie Smith)-Black, Black and Black.
Current wife, Grace Hightower-Black too!
And although he is loving the chocolate honeys, Mr. De Niro still may need help in the “hooking-up” area.
According to British singer/actress Jamelia, Mr. De Niro tried to pick her up a few years ago, but sadly the Jigga struck out! Jamelia told The Mirror, that she had heard he had a ‘thing’ for black women, and was amazed when he told organizers he wouldn’t leave until he had spoken to her.
She recalled: “I’d heard he’s got a thing for black women, but I thought it was just a rumor. At the end of the night we were finally introduced, but he was so full on, straight away – talking about how I was a delicious chocolate thing.”
Really, now?
“Then he started to churn out more chat-up lines, like, ‘Don’t you want to be my leading lady?’ and, ‘Come on, I’m not taking no for an answer.’
Unfortunately, for a persistent De Niro, Jamelia soon put a stop to his cheesy chat-up.
The 26-year-old mother-of-two, had to let him down gently by telling him she is already in a relationship with soccer star Darren Byfield.
She added: “I was flattered but I told him in no uncertain terms that it was not going to happen. I said I had a boyfriend.”
needs to listen to me-“Mr. De Niro, sweetheart, you need some new pick-up lines. Pronto!”
Lucresialinton.com is a blog by Jazz singer, Lucresia Linton about God, sex, relationships, men, women and love. Lucresia Linton's aim is to reach, teach, squeeze, inspire, and learn from the world. Miss Linton is looking to talk with like-minded individuals in the hope that somewhere out there is a depth-defying, soul shaking love.
The truth?
One day Miss Ava turned to her and told her that she heard all her stories.
Every single one.
Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
Miss Linton lives by the motto- "Let your life be a testimony to all that walk the face of the earth."
Miss Linton wants you to know that yes, she thought of that quote all by herself!
*Yes, Miss Linton likes to call her friends, "Possums". She has to have a nickname for everything! She was already using "Beaver" for something else.
***Yes, Miss Linton welcomes all comments, but if they are rude then don't bother. She is a sensitive soul, in other words, irrational, and she will put you in a web cock-hold without given it a moment's thought!
à toute à l'heure!
Possums,
Come do moi and I will do you at twitter.com/lucresialinton
See you then.
L.
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