Lucresialinton.com is a blog by Jazz singer, Lucresia Linton about God, sex, relationships, men, women and love. Lucresia Linton's aim is to reach, teach, squeeze, inspire, and learn from the world. Miss Linton is looking to talk with like-minded individuals in the hope that somewhere out there is a depth-defying, soul shaking love.
The truth?
One day Miss Ava turned to her and told her that she heard all her stories.
Every single one.
Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
Miss Linton lives by the motto- "Let your life be a testimony to all that walk the face of the earth."
Miss Linton wants you to know that yes, she thought of that quote all by herself!
*Yes, Miss Linton likes to call her friends, "Possums". She has to have a nickname for everything! She was already using "Beaver" for something else.
***Yes, Miss Linton welcomes all comments, but if they are rude then don't bother. She is a sensitive soul, in other words, irrational, and she will put you in a web cock-hold without given it a moment's thought!
à toute à l'heure!
“Did you know that the color of a man’s lips is the same color as their penis?” asked Ava.
“I guess! ” I answered as I raised my eyebrows.
Possums, we think that we need to supervise what Miss Ava is looking at on the internet better!
“Do you think that this is true?” asked Ava trying to read my face. “I bet you are thinking back on each of your past boyfriends’ lips and penises aren’t you?”
“No, dear,” I sighed.
“It would take too long!”
Did I ever show you my dream house?
I fell in love with the simplicity of this house when I saw a video of it on the television show- “World’s Most Extreme Homes”. Designed by Marcio Kogan, Casa Gamma Issa is a modern house located in Saul Paulo, Brazil.
I find that the older I get *cough* cough* I gear towards a more “cushier” sort of interiors. Interiors I guess that are more comforting. But, no matter. There are still so many things I love about this house- the stark white interiors, the way that the inside connects so easily with the outdoors by way of the large sliding window, the pool, the lawn that looks like a carpet, the many bookcases, the long island in the kitchen and the pop of color at every turn.
Simple and lovely.
It makes you realize that you don’t really need so many nooks, crannies and rooms to make a home.
And believe it or not, this couple has two very young daughters and a cat!
You know Possums, I still can’t get the-penis-on-the-phone-thing out of my mind.
Clearly!
But, come to think of it, do you know that I saw the pictures! I just didn’t know it at the time. What had happened was Ava was taking pictures of us for my mother to remember us by on her cell. I even told Ava there was no use in her putting those pics up on there anyways cause there was no way in the world that my mother was going to figure out how to access that part of her phone. I had quickly scrolled through them, to check out Ava’s photo credits, and what I thought was an armpit was actually a crevice leading up to the alleged manhood!
I remember thinking to myself-“to each his own” and flung the phone in my mother’s purse.
But, then I got to thinking of the girl in the photo. Why didn’t she pull a Rhianna? Then at least the pictures would not come back to haunt her. For haunt her they shall my dear Possums.
Have I introduced you to my mother!
So, when I had a moment of quiet alone time, I thought to myself that there must be a gazillion girls out there who may find themselves in the position of wanting to or just plain giving in to their man’s stupid request. So, why not here in Lucresiaville give them some pointers.
Not that I have done anything like that in the past.
It is just a for instance!
No, seriously, have I introduced you to my mother!
1. One Must Focus On Positioning- Positioning of the head, not only his, but yours, too. Remember we don’t know if he has any photo credits, so we don’t know how long it is going to take to take these pics. It is one thing to get locked jaw, but it is a whole other thing to get a creak in the neck! One should lay beside the peckerwood. Possibly, to left of it, so that when editing later you can write notes on the right hand side. I personally would add any date that would make like you took the pictures when you were fifteen! Hence, again if they came back to haunt you!
2. Capturing the Best Light-It is a tricky thing trying to not only hold the camera, but trying to make sure that everything gets into the shot that needs to be in there. There is so little focus on lighting. I heard that even Dietrich knew her best angles. She knew that one never lets the light overtake them. One must find the light and step into it. And what’s good for the acteur is also good for the actrice! The light should come from the either side. If it comes from the top then it may end up giving his manhood a little halo! Although, I know there would be probably a ton of men out there who wouldn’t mind this! I think that a nice soft light bulb of at least 40watts should be used. No 100watts bulbs here! We should be paying close attention to one “hole” here, and I am not talking about your pores!
3. One Should Pay Attention To One’s Hairstyle- Since these pictures will come back to haunt you. And don’t think that they can’t for not everyone has got the knack down of doing what my man Jesus would do. So, one should at least make sure that your make-up and hair is on point. I personally would coif-up my hairstyle. This way his manhood would be nice and centered. A nice ponytail would work wonders in giving you higher cheekbones! And if his manhood could stand it, why not put on a little fan? Everyone’s hair always looks nice and windswept with a little bit of fan.
4. One Must Never Forget to Smile-“Smile with your eyes.” Tyra was soo right!You should smize every time you get a chance to! And if you got a moment don’t forget to check for lipstick marks on your teeth or on his schnitzel. You should decide from the get go if you want a come-hither-me-smile or one that says I-just-been-fucked. Cause you will be! But, hey no judgement! It should be about showing how much fun you are having.
I guess!
I think that one shouldn’t show too much teeth near his manhood, though! Just because he likes you to call it his sausage, doesn’t mean he wants you to treat it as such! For some strange reason a lot of men get really squirmy when teeth get too close to their manhood.
5. One Should Take The Time To Airbrush (if possible)-You know Possums, I am all about the airbrushing! But, if it were my pics, I would airbrush that penis right out of the picture and put in a fruit instead! How about an apple or a big banana? Nobody then has to know about you moment of insanity?
It gives a whole new meaning of “The Kid Stays in the Picture” doesn’t it?
Massive 8.9 Earthquake Slams Japan, Unleashing 23-Foot Tsunami And Killing At Least 300
And to think that when Ava was little I used to stick to braids, cornrows and baubles when styling her hair.
How unimaginative was I?
photo: United Colors of Benetton
I have often w
ondered when a person makes love to an exceptionally good-looking person, does the sexual tension heighten?
I have to get back to you on that one when I ask all the men I have ever slept with.
But, of course!
No, seriously. 
One time I frolicked with a man that was so pretty that I didn’t even have to keep the light on, for he had a light that shone all on its own. Though, I think it could have been the baby oil!
But, just because you have a pretty face, doesn’t mean that your “game face” is prett
y too. The man, made so many ugly faces while we were doing it that Possums, I swear I thought that Jigga was going to pass him a kidney stone!
Inside of me!
But, what about when God has created such a man that you know that, kidney stone or not, this man could never ever make an ugly face. No matter how hard
he tried.
This is what Miss Lucresia likes to define such man as being “man-pretty”.
And so my Possums, I think that in honor of the fine lovefest of a holiday that is coming up, I 
think it is not only proper, but may be a first in our “Gentle Gentleman” series and youngest male to date featuring the salacious and insatiable Mr. Tyson Beckford.
Mr. Beckford was discovered in New York City by a talent scout looking for new faces t
o feature in the hip-hop magazine The Source. 
Within a year, Mr. Tyson was recruited by Ralph Lauren as the front model for the company’s Polo line of male sportswear. The first ever
Black man to do so.
Thank you to his momma.
And thank you Mr. Ralph Lauren!
Possums, sometimes it could take a serious bonk on the head and a tentative 
appointment with your maker, that could change a man’s life forever. On June 7, 2005, Ty Ty was injured following a car accident in New Jerse
y. He lost control of his vehicle and struck a utility pole. His truck immediately caught fire, but Mr. Beckford was able to pull himself out before it became fully engulfed in flames. He was taken to hospital with trauma to the head and cuts.
Mr. Tyso
n supports the National RESPECT! Campaign against domestic violence, and Giverespect.org.
And although he doesn’t model as much as he used to, it goes without saying that when he was modeling he possessed such a mixed bag of stares.
He currently co-hosts the modeling contest Make Me a Supermodel on the television channel Bravo. And in this day and age of recession, has saved an entire industry by itself- Vaseline.
Please note: Unless obvious, I took all of the more intimate pictures during our down time.
Naturally.
