Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
“Hi, I am so sorry to do this to you, but are you Oprah Winfrey?” asked a tall debonair man.
“Why, yes! Yes, I am. Here-,” as I ruffled my hand through my purse, “Here’s is a million dollars” as I slapped my hand into his hand.
“Okay, I lied. I know that you weren’t Oprah. I was just trying to find a way to talk to you.”
“Oh!” I responded delighted. ”It’ okay. A guy once used-hey do you know that you look like the singer Faith Evans? When she was bigger?”
“And how did that work out for you?”
“We dated for four months.”
Possums, you know they say that cute dogs and cute babies can get you a man, but a cute Oprah?
Ring the press!
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