Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
I know that we may have been here before, but….
We prod them.
Pull them.
Snag them.
Tease them.
Whip them into a frenzy of ecstasy, and bring them to their knees, them.
We treat them like lollipops.
Treat them like tops of bottles.
And wonder aloud and to ourselves what is the power they have over the men (and some women) population.
We have discussed them on a psychiatrist’s couch.
We even have discussed them while watching Super Bowl, eating wings, garlic bread and pizza.
Okay, only once.
It was the Super Bowl, when Miss Janet Jackson accidentally showed hers!
Rihanna, Christina Aguilera, Cassie, Ashley Simpson, Nicole Richie, Rachel Bilson, Pink, Amber Rose, Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, among others have put a permanent hole through them.
And to this day Twilight fans still take up all the space on the message boards, debating if Kristen Stewart had pierced them?
Side Note #1-Possums, no matter how old they are, kids are still impressionable to what other celebrities do!And while my daughter tried to ask me for one…
Side Note #2-I reminded her that with the amount of clothes she has, the material will snag on the earring every single time.
True or not true, it worked!
No piercings, but the ears for Ava!
You see Possums, a mother’s work is never done! I talked her out of stretching her ears like a Pygmy, and now I have talked her out of putting an extra hole where God our Father never intended her to have in the first place!
Let’s carry on shall we?
We have tasseled them.
Bejeweled them.
Watched them on the big-screen them.
Go to the doctors to yank the inverted ones that just seem to spooked to come out, them!
Some are short.
Some are long.
Some are just plain wrong.
Some are pointy.
Almost 92% are lopsided.
But, that’s okay.
Possums, do you know that if you keep yourself on your back, no one will even know it?
Just a little tip from me to you.
Some are leaked.
Some are not.
Some are hacked.
And then are just plain-fucked!
And some just like to have their pictures taken after a nice shower in the privacy of their bathrooms, for what purpose, is beyond me.
But, I ask in this case-“Where are their mothers?”
At least that’s what my mother asked me when she found out.
You see Possums, my mother raised us to not only respect her, but fear her!
But, “where are their mothers?”
Just ask Scarlett Johannson, Miley Cyrus,Vanessa Hudgens, Rihanna, Cassie and Blake Lively et al!
Boy, Rihanna made both lists!
But, Cassie made three!
Possums, Miss Cassie also filet-mignon her vagina, too.
Well done you!
Maybe you do need more than a pretty face to keep Puffy-Daddy, Coco-puffs or whatever he is calling himself these days, interested!
But, now some Japanese women are bleaching them!
You read right-bleaching their nipples!
I asked my Asian cousin who really is a mix of Black and Asian, so we call her Bla-sian (I won’t even tell you what she calls me and to my face!) to explain this to me and she confirmed that she has only one Asian friend that bleaches her nipples to get a pink, “westerner” colored look. I can’t really confirm if this “friend” is really her, cause I haven’t seen her naked since we were seven and we were comparing…um….stuff.
Possums, I just felt a little bit inadequate.
I always fancied the color of my nipples. Their colour matches the surrounding skin-like an accessory should, non? I mean I could understand falling prey to the “westerner’s ideal” of beauty-I straighten my hair. But, you should see how many combs and brushes I would break if I didn’t! And although my mother is Spanish, I feel that she kept a lot of the “easy-flowing” hair gene to herself!
Figures!
And maybe I do exercise the hell out of myself to conform to an ideal, but do you realize how many sounds one would hear if you heard my belly and my thighs flapping in the heat of passion? It is similar to a loud concerto! And maybe I did conform to the “westerner’s ideal” of the perfect breasts, however not by putting stuff in, but rather I took plenty out by way of breast reduction.
But, they grew back!
Like a Chia-pet.
All I did was add water!
I’ve heard of some crazy procedures, but this is near the top! An over-the-counter topical application, you don’t need a prescription. Can you imagine that conversation going down with my doctor? I am still trying to find a way to ask him for a prescription for Latisse. I guess I could just tell him and show him what happened when I got my eyelash extensions for $30 dollars at the back of a convenience store!
Why do people make such a fuss over the colour of their nipples? They’re nipples! Who cares? Apparently, pink nipples signify youth and virginity. And here I used to always busy myself opening ketchup packets in the dark and screaming really loudly upon penis entry! And since a lot of women have brown nipples bleaching them may seem the only way to go. It didn’t even occur to me that not only was there a difference, but that some people might care. I mean, if I’ve got brown hair and brown eyes and brown skin wouldn’t it be weird if my nipples were pink? But, I think I missed the more important question here-how far am I willing to go for the sake of science? I’d bet plenty of men would be willing to offer a personal inspection.
Ha!
Anyway, most women like to flaunt pink and light colored nipples. The trend of bleaching dark intimate areas such as the vagina, anal area and the underarms is gaining momentum. People are become more beauty conscious and exceptionally hygienic. The process of removal can be performed from the comfort and convenience of your home. And what’s great is that you can easily buy these products online anonymously. Just make sure that you look at the ingredients of the bleaching creams. Nature based products are always preferred. Most of these creams contain FDA banned ingredient Hydroquinone, which can be extremely harmful for your body. It can cause leukaemia, thyroid disorder or liver damage.
Anyhow, I looked up many a naked lady on the internet and I don’t recall seeing any “Asians” with pink nipples, so maybe it really is just a “trend” and a way of grouping everyone together.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson has bleached one of his nipples.
I don’t know which one.
Like that is going to help him!
I think it is safe to say that most men are pretty much uninterested in nipple colour. And as far as I know brown nipples are sexy. And I am not saying it cause mine are, but pretty much any nipple colour that men see are sexy.
However, I must add that according to my research, some people think that darker nipples implies sleeping around.
I guess!
Possums, that doesn’t mean anything!
Mine are already dark!!!
And don’t forget that nipples darken after a pregnancy!
I got two against me already!
One popular nipple bleaching cream is called the, “Finale Pink Nipple.”
According to the makers that be, “[it] conditions the nipples, leaving them pink and fresh. With a mixture of natural herbal extracts, it helps lighten dark spots while removing dead skin cells and reveals new, pinker skin gradually within 1-4 weeks. Vitamin E, Squalene and Allantoin are added to make your skin even more smooth and supple can be used for a long period of time, nipple will not turn darker than before if discontinued.”
The ingredients are:
Tamarind Extract, emblic extract, Ipomoea extract, Aloe Vera extract, Lactic acid, Vitamin E, squalene and allantoin.
O-tay!!!
Some other Skin Lightening Creams are:
:: Skin bright by Premium Naturals: This cream is developed through years of research. It is made up of Alpha Albutin, Kojic acids and natural moisturizers. It soothes, protects and decreases the production of melanin in our body, which consequently leads to skin lightening.
:: Revitol Skin Brightener: This cream protects your skin from discoloration and uneven skin tone. You can easily buy this product online. It is always advisable consult a physician before buying this product.
:: Meladerm: This cream is touted be one of the most effective skin lightening cream. This product contains natural ingredients such as Vitamin B3, Mulberry Extract, bearberry extract, lemon juice, emblica powder, locorice extract, lactic acid and glycolic acid that can easily rejuvenate our skin tone. This product contains no Hydroquinone, steroids and mercury. Most of the bleaching and skin lightening creams nowadays contain harmful substances, which can be extremely dangerous for our body. Meladerm is completely a nature-based cream, which can diminish age spots, hyper pigmentation, freckles, knuckles and dark elbows with ease.
Remember: Bleaching needs to be done with caution & care on sensitive areas.
Lastly, there is DIY-nipple bleaching.
Which I do not recommend!
What is DIY-nipple bleaching? Some women are using fresh lemon and rubbing it all over their nipples. Do you know what I say to that? I say that if a lemon can taste sour on the lips, what do you think it can do to an area that is even more sensitive?
Don’t believe me? Do a search on Google.
Then click Images.
And watch what scrolls up!
And I thought you only had to deal with cracked nipples when breast-feeding!
I guess!
All in all, this whole obsession with pink nipples/anuses is a little more than weird.
Possums, perhaps everyone deep down inside just wants to be a redhead?
P.S. Just had to put this pic in, but that is one happy nipple!
