This pillowcase lets your lover set the mood in the boudoir without saying a word. Woven in the softest cotton, this reversible bedding features romantic script print on both sides.
Or you can buy the pair for $225
And Possums if you end up buying a pair, may you always have them turned to “Fuck!”
Do you see what thing(s) are missing?
Talk about airbrushed to death!
The new ad for Christian Louboutin’s collaboration with Paris cabaret Crazy Horse.
Sometimes, when you don’t have racism blatantly screaming in your face every day, especially when you live in Canada, mind you it still don’t stop the store merchants from following you around like a lap dog!
But I digress!
Sometimes, you forget how far we have come, until you walk away from the movie, “The Help” with everyone not looking at you and one man walking up to you to say-“I’m Sorry.”
And after I made a quick trip to the bathroom to check in the mirror that I hadn’t forgotten to take off my doo-rag, you know the one that make me look like Aunt Jemima, but it does so well in keeping my hair in check! I still wondered to myself-have we come really that far? Or is it just more hidden?
This to me is a day of observance where we remember not only one man, but all those who fought for the rights of all citizens.
You know Possums, it takes a very telling woman who would go and push past a woman carrying post-Christmas candy marked down to fifty-cents, duck between two Black women discussing the finer qualities of dollar-store eye shadow, and slightly nudge/push forward and end up slightly tripping what looks like a young grandmother wearing a bad off-centered lace front wig reaching for the last mini-trumpet that says-”Happy New Year!” on it.
But, I did it!
And besides, Possums, I was the queen of the ball!
How do I know?
Cause at the time I was wearing a crown that I bought from the party place right on top of my head! I got many a looks that day and even some of envy from little girls and one boy. I figured when people saw me wearing a crown they thought of me as being eccentric, debonair and mysterious.
But, of course!
And then I come home like little boy blue with my horn, only to have my child have the audacity to say to me, “why did you buy that for? I’m not three!”
And then have me retort back-“Well, someone, somewhere in this house is going to blow something tonight!”
“And by the way, did you walk around outside with that crown on your head!!!”
Frig!
Possums, when did we get so old?
Let me tell teach you a lesson in that it is never to late to try something new, no matter what age. This is similar to those stories you read about those people running marathons when they are in their eighties. I know that if I ran a marathon at eighty as soon as the shoot the gun in the air, either half will drop dead from fright, or like me, my soul will be left behind, and after I got to the finish line, I would have to return to the beginning where my soul dropped off only to have my soul say to me-“bitch, what took you so long?”
Possums, I have to give it to Ava. At the ripe old age of seventeen, Ava has turned over a new leaf. She has got herself a new passion. She has scaled new heights! The feeling is very similar to the feeling you get when you are reaching for something in your goody drawer! Possums, my baby is now taking ballet!
Mind you she knows that it is too late to become a prima-donna. But, that’s not going to stop her from being one! Just kidding, she is a good girl. But, it don’t matter. She is doing it for herself!
And I my Possums, am so happy to finally become a stage-mother! I just may give Dina Lohan a run for her money.
Oh, Possums, the joy I felt when I was in the line at the grocery store, “Miss, sorry, let me put back this extra chocolate. My daughter is in ballet.”
“Your daughter is in ballet? Oh, lovely!”
“Why, yes, yes she is.”
Or….
“Which pump madam, unleaded or super?”
“Unleaded please. Oh, I hope I won’t be late picking up my daughter from ballet.”
“You’s got a daughter in ballet?”
“Why, yes, yes I do.”
Or when I was at the bookstore, browsing through magazines, and slowly walking up and creeping out the Self-Help section when I realized I was the only one in it!
“Oh Miss, leaving so soon?”
“Yeah, I have to hurry up. I have to pick up my daughter at ballet!”
“Your daughter is in ballet?”
“Why, yes, yes she is.”
When Ava tried on her first black leotard, I felt like I was trying it on too. When Ava picked out her regulation pink tights, I felt like I was picking it out too. When Ava picked out her ballet shoes, I felt like I was picking them out too. Well, I actually squeezed my feet into her pair, cause…well I darn well wanted to! I didn’t get too far, cause when I turned around, I realized that half the store was looking at me! Possums, we drove all over Toronto buying up everything, but I didn’t care.
My daughter is in ballet!
Ava is a good egg. She doesn’t ask for much, but there are times when I feeling like my name is “Mommy, can you buy me…!” This Christmas all she wanted was a pair of Doc Martens with the Union Jack flag all up on the front. You should have seen the look on my family members’ faces at our annual Christmas party at my Uncle’s house. For one, they were shocked by Ava’s size-she lost like 50 or 60 pounds. So, now she has a tighter ass, smaller uppity titties and a flat stomach. When everyone saw her they 
screamed, hooted and hollered. Kind of reminded me how far back of the woods and up the mountains my Black forefathers were! But, she basked in all the attention. And deservedly so! But, when they saw her Doc Martens, and the fact that she was carrying a copy of Kurt Cobain’s diary, they all were even more surprised about her transformation.
Possums, I remember when I got my first pair of Doc Martens. I thought I was so cool. But, contrary to what my parents thought, I wore them because they were comfortable.
“You know that if you wear those big boots it means that you are a White supremacist!” said my Dad.
“Okay, Dad!”
Didn’t I tell you Possums? Far back of the woods and up the mountains my Black forefathers were!
“And when they see you, they are going to recruit you into their group!”
“Okay, Daaaaaad!”
But, unlike all other things, Ava has been sticking to this lifestyle. I personally think that she caught the I Wanna Be Like Elle Fanning Going to Ballet Syndrome! Ever since she saw Miss Elle Fanning trotting out of ballet class Ava has been talking about it non-stop! I even bought her a little black see-thru wrap around. So, Ava was good to go until….I picked Ava up from the fifth week of class. She wasn’t her glowing and happy self. She seem pissed.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“Can you believe that we had to do the barré today?”
“So, what you put your hand on the barré and went up and down on it?” I asked.
“Mom, it is not a man! The teacher told us that we had to lift up our legs and place it on the barré!”
Possums, I laughed.
No.
I guffawed!
Ava went on to tell me that the teacher AND the assistant had to help Ava lift her legs onto the barré! And I am not even going to begin to tell you the lengths and depths of conversation she had about the pain in her legs, joints, and co-co!
“The teacher said I need to take Pilates or do yoga. So, I think that we need to go to that Lululemon place, so that I can get a yoga mat and new yoga clothes to match!” exclaimed Ava.
“Well, we got that yoga mat sitting there in the corner for over a year,” I responded.
“From the dollar store!”
“Whatever, Ava!”
“Mom, what exercises would you do to make your legs more spreadable?”
“Um….!”
“Common, it was so embarrassing having two women having to spread my legs open!”
Possums, I could see what she means.
I had to help her!
You know Possums, there comes a time in a person’s life when they are called to help another in a time of adversity. A time when one must face their own fears and challenges and not balk in the eyes of the unknown. Even if it means having to pry your daughter’s legs open! So, what does a mother have to do? I had to push my weight on them both dem legs!
I pushed.
Ava pulled.
I prodded.
Ava tore…her mouth that is! Girl, scream and grunted so loud you would think that it was the first time she ever had to have her legs pried open!
It better!
Ava even told me that there is a woman in her sixties that is in the class too! And that the woman is long, lean and limber!
“You know she got no problem lifting up her leg on to the barre!” Ava pointed out.
“Ava, after sixty years or so on this Earth she shouldn’t have no trouble! She should be able to lift her legs on the barré and put it behind her head and scratch her ears with her feet!”
Ava and I went back and forth for about 10 minutes, until my back gave out! Did it help her in the end? I would like to say, yes, but not really. She still has trouble lifting her leg up on that barré by herself, however she does it a bit quicker.
“Ava, I know what you’re going through- with your legs not being flexible and all, but when I was in my twenties there was a time when I was a bit rusty, cause I stopped having sex for quite a long time, and-,”
“Is that why you have such poor muscle tone?”
Lucresialinton.com is a blog by Jazz singer, Lucresia Linton about God, sex, relationships, men, women and love. Lucresia Linton's aim is to reach, teach, squeeze, inspire, and learn from the world. Miss Linton is looking to talk with like-minded individuals in the hope that somewhere out there is a depth-defying, soul shaking love.
The truth?
One day Miss Ava turned to her and told her that she heard all her stories.
Every single one.
Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
Miss Linton lives by the motto- "Let your life be a testimony to all that walk the face of the earth."
Miss Linton wants you to know that yes, she thought of that quote all by herself!
*Yes, Miss Linton likes to call her friends, "Possums". She has to have a nickname for everything! She was already using "Beaver" for something else.
***Yes, Miss Linton welcomes all comments, but if they are rude then don't bother. She is a sensitive soul, in other words, irrational, and she will put you in a web cock-hold without given it a moment's thought!
à toute à l'heure!
Possums,
Come do moi and I will do you at twitter.com/lucresialinton
See you then.
L.
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