Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
1. Post a picture of a before and after of Janet Jackson’s yo-yo dieting on your fridge. It will remind you to be gentle on your body.
2. Go to the Adult Magazine Section at a bookstore and say aloud, “I can’t believe I am in here for another month!” And walk away carrying a copy. While you toss the copy on another shelf, watch men’s faces as they take in all you just said. You will get some numbers! If you want to have a friendly email fling then so be it. Don’t meet alone though. Don’t be like my friend Stupida!
3. Let go some baggage, papi! Everyone can see your baggage from behind. And you know how people like to chat about Kim Kardashian’s big ole butt. Don’t let the same thing happen to you. Don’t lug it around no more. Let it go.
4. Make good on trying a new food that you have been very curious about. If you don’t have the cash to go fine dining try out the recipe at home. My fave was to try Curry Goat on my own and Ackee and Salt Fish. But, don’t tell my mom that I tried it. She will be putting it in my face for many years because she always told me to watch her cook. And I would say,”NO!”.
5. When was the last time you made something for you. I knitted my self a blanket. Yet, I got bored and I missed a few lines… so it ending up being a scarf. But, it is a wicked scarf! It is all mine. No child labour, no animals killed, maybe a yak or two is bald…but I made it. It is special!
-gâr
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