Well, Possums, I knew that there was going to be a day that I was going to do a threesome Sex Fantasy Roleplay post. And it only took three and a half years! Bandidas is a 2006 French/Mexican/American Western comedy film starring Miss Salma Hayek and Miss Penélope Cruz. This is the first movie that Cruz and Hayek have starred in together.
According to Wikipedia:
“Despite the lackluster reception!”
Agreed!
“Bandidas gained a cult following due to the film’s lead actresses.”
I guess!
Possums, you know how everyone is always complaining about movie studios; on how they don’t know what they are 
doing. Well, I never ever used to join in that conversation, until I watched this movie! Well! Never before so much boobs, brawn (those girls can pack a punch!) and sweat, but alas no real good action, the way you would expect.
What the hell was the studio thinking???
I personally don’t know what is in those girls’ contract rider, but you would think that this is the one time that you get these two actresses, especially these two, nude and extra touchy-feely!!! Now that Angelina is saving the world, one baby at a time, there is no one who is willing to flash boobs for the sake of movie anymore! Don’t get me wrong. I would save the world too, but I have Lupus.
Ahem.
Okay I didn’t mean to play the “L” card, but I didn’t fall too far from the tree known as Sharon, if I didn’t! And my mother, Sharon, didn’t raise no fool. 
But, clearly the studio executives’ mommas did cause they didn’t get Penelope and Salma to perform to the standards and customs of this great highly sexed-up nation of ours!
Oh well, this post is titled-Sex Fantasy Roleplay, so let’s try fantasize away.
In 1848, a New York bank wants to put a railroad across Mexico, so it buys up small banks around Santa Rita, Durango, and evicts farmers on the proposed rail line who owe money. The bank’s henchman is the murderous Jackson. He runs afoul of two women, María Álvarez (Penélope Cruz), the tough but uneducated daughter of a farmer, and Sara Sandoval (Salma Hayek), the European-educated daughter of the owner of one of these banks. To feed the now landless people and to seek revenge, María and Sara become bank robbers, veritable Robin Hoods. But Jackson and his hired guns are after them. What are the women’s options?
This movie reminds me of a long version of a Telenovela.
I always had this fantasy from when I sat down and watched a latin Telenovela on television. Ah, what a glorious day when the televisions stations start playing Telenovelas at 10PM, which is really soft porn with very limited dialogue and over-exaggerated arm movements! Possums, you always get a man storm in and say, “Tenemos una emergencia!”
But, what he probably meant was- “Sergeant, there is only one women left in this village and your it!”
Then the man would be all brash and huffy, as he paced around and around the office. Then the Sergeant, who is a woman-
Did I already establish that?
Anyway, she would bend over with her bosoms just so, peaking out of her tight army outfit, with her hair in a tight bun and then she would run around the desk and then all of the sudden she would get all bothered, and then…
HOT DAMN!
The man clears off the desk, she releases her hair out of the bun, and then all the sudden the background music gets louder and then they are naked! Everything happens so fast that you don’t even remember when they took their clothes off!
But, I still only have one pet-peeve with these Telenovelas. Why when you watch one of those steamy sex scenes in the Telenovela that it takes at least 10 to 15 mins of long-ass dialogue of, “Te engañe! Ven ahora y quitarme la ropa pesada y me gusto!” just to see another sex scene????
Every single time!
And then they just keep on talking and talking and talking. And by the time I am finished waiting I change the channel and forget and then when I remember I come back and then the credits are rolling!
I know that the following movie is not a nouvella, but just watch this and watch the frustration creep in!
I remember my first threesome.
It was me, Terrence Howard and some random chick. I remember that I was on his left 
and I kept on telling him, “to the left, to the left.” And when he finally looked to his left, he said, “Forget it! This is too sick even for me!” And he got up!
Man, I so hated that dream!
Since, then, I had Robert Sheehan, George Clooney, Tyson Beckford and Robert Sheehan.
Yes, I had Robert Sheehan twice.
I think it’s because I watched a Misfits television marathon two nights in a row!
Bandidas
Amazing Corsets-The women from this time, knew how to accentuate the assests! Corsets are great to make the breasts stand out! All two of them! Trust me, walk in the mall today and 
you see so many women with three breasts or breasts that are climbing on top of each other with no room to breathe! That’s because they are not wearing better bras that lift, separate, divide and provide lines! Tijuana shouldn’t be the only place with proper borders! Still, I expected a lot of nudity, however what this movie didn’t lack was the amazing outfit ideas that one could wear in the bedroom. Not many a woman is dressing up in the bedroom the way they used too. I told my daughter that when she gets married I will periodically check her dresser drawers and armoires and make sure that she has many a choice pieces to entertain her man! She agreed as long as I didn’t go into her goody drawer!
I was like, “what goody drawer?”
She was like, “you know to keep all my goodies in!”
I thought for a moment. And then I was like, “Ava what’s a dildo?”
“What’s that?” she asks.
“Girl, you ain’t going to keep nothing in that goody drawer, except sugar-free gum and hand lotion! And we both know it is only for your hands because you always complain how dry the air is!”
“And books. Don’t forget books. I hate mess!” she added.
Wow!
But, don’t worry Possums, when my daughter gets dressed up, it will be for her husband!
Why be a statistic?
Like, her mother.
Blindfolds (for the girls)- Why not go all out! This is your chance to be Miss Dita Von Teese in the bedroom, so why not?
Bath towel (for him)- Also, he should have is hair spanking clean and coiffed! Just because you are about to have a threesome, doesn’t mean that you have to give way to bad manners! I prefer to see my men in nice decorative towels. Mine are always zebra print. I got this fantastic pair, along with the matching hand towels, and shower curtains, the other day.
Ava was like-“Do you really have to change your bathroom décor every season?”
And I was like-“Why yes. Yes I do!”
And she was like-“You just want an excuse to shop!”
And I was like-“Why yes. Yes, I do!”
Possums, nothing means more than having good taste and displaying it appropriately! That notion was handed down to me from my family! And they must know something, cause these were people who could take a bunch of twigs and make a kitchen, a bedroom, a living room, and an upstairs sitting room, just cause!
A silk tie or bandana- Might I suggest this for gagging his mouth, as to shut out the cries of ecstasy.
I guess!
What you don’t need-A camera! Now, these girls had an agenda in the movie, and I know that you and the girl are not trying to play Robin Hood! So don’t be a dumb dumb! Let’s keep the camera out of the bed!
Any man would want to have two women fighting over him cause Jigga knows that there is no possible way that this could happen in real life.
Or does it?
I remember when I was having a nice breakfast for two. You know the one where in your mind you are “playing house”. You know the one where you start start using his last name with your first name. And I asked him, if he ever had a threesome. I guess I felt that we were so close cause we were sharing so much. I love sharing! Well, he told me he had and went into the sordid details. What made it worse was that I had actually met the other woman he had it with and he mentioned casually that she probably would be game again, if I was.
On second thought Possums, I hate sharing!
Always remember that there is always going to be one greedy girl of the two.
And baby, Miss Lucresia hopes to hell it’s you!
Update 7:00AM:
Ava would like you to know that she now knows what a dildo is.
Also, Ava would like you to know that she don’t know why any woman would ever need one, when a man could probably do a better job.
I have so much to teach this child. Lord, please give me strength!
Possums, a mother’s work is never done!
JUST TELL ME!
put it on the penis (Wrapped up! But of course!) or cake it into the anus. But, don’t go by what I am saying! When in doubt do what I do, read the instructions.
Many compare Ennis and Jack’s drama to classic romances like 
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Heartbroken, Lucresia Linton decided to turn to the internet. She believes that if God gives you lemons, then you must order your very rude child to make you a pitcher of lemonade and go find an audience elsewhere!
